The Smirking Jerk (Blake's POV)

Chapter 88

"I do. That's why I didn't go. I didn't want to ruin their party. And... well..." I could say the next sentence. I was strong enough. In a small voice, I continued, "She's often there you know, at these gatherings. They were her friends first. I don't want her to be uncomfortable because I would be there. She's won the kids in our custody battle."

I was staring at my hands now. They were bruised and a little cut from the game.

"But, don't you want to hang out with them?"

I sighed. "Sure, but I want a lot of things. That doesn't mean I'll get them."

"It's your birthday this weekend."

I snorted. "Oh grand. I'll be charged as an adult if we get arrested now."

Josh ignored that and continued on whatever idea he had in his head. "Don't you want to have a party?"

I snorted again, looking at him in disbelief. "Do I look like I want to have a party?"

"But it'll be your last time with your friends."

I waved the matter away. "It's fine, they'll managed without me. I'm sure they'll have a lot of fun tonight because of that."

"Gosh, you're such a dramatic little bitch."

The words were a punch to my heart. "Yeah, I've heard that before," I said softly.

How fucking messed up was it that I was sad to not be someone's little bitch anymore?

Jesus, tomorrow's session with Doctor Boseman was definitely needed.

"So, what do you want to do? Party together? Vandalize a billboard? Create mayhem all over town? Go big while you're still a minor."

"I'm fine thanks. I'm thinking about running maybe an hour, and then going to sleep somewhat early. That should make you happy."

"Really? That's your plan for your Saturday evening?"

"Yep, I live wildly."

"Alright, if that's what you want," Josh half heatedly agreed, driving us back home.

Josh pouted all the while I ran on the treadmill, but I actually didn't feel bad about it, because he was still keeping secrets from me and acting like it was okay.

That was the first thing I mentioned when I was back in Doctor Boseman's office.

"So basically, everyone around me has been keeping stuff from me. Like for instance, I think everyone hates Kendall. And I'm pretty sure my best friend is keeping secrets about my brother and it's really bothering me," I told him.

"So, you just realized that there's more happening than just the things you might have noticed?"

I felt a little defensive at his words. "I get that I can't know everything, but I also deserve to know whatever Josh is keeping from me about my brother. He was my brother! Why does everyone feel the need to keep stuff from me? I hate it."

Doctor Boseman was giving me a patient look. If anything, it annoyed me even more. "Do you tell everyone around you everything? Do you not keep any kind of secrets at all? Are you completely transparent?"

"No..."

"So do you think it's fair to expect everyone to be, if you aren't?"

I didn't like when he was making logical comments to my emotional reactions. Couldn't he just let me throw a tantrum?

"If I start being honest with everyone, can they do it too then?" I challenged.

He chuckled. "Wouldn't the intention feel wrong here? If you just open up because you want them to do it themselves. Not because you actually want to share a more private part of yourself with them?"