The Smirking Jerk (Blake's POV)

Chapter 39

Chapter 39

I was staring at the ceiling in the room I used to sleep in when I was younger.

Back when I was fresh out of diapers, my parents were busy all the time with work and often dropped me and Jay off at our grandparents. This place had always felt more like a home than the place we stayed in New York. This house in the outskirts of the city was home.

My oldest memories of Jayden were here.

It was easier to wake up in the morning back home since Jayden had never been there. Jayden never lived in the house and the town we were living in now.

It was different here.

The ghost of Jay lingered in these rooms.

I could almost hear his laugh echoing on the walls.

Missing someone this much really was unbearable.

I closed my tear-filled eyes and rubbed my hands on them.

I got out of bed. I wasn't going to sleep.

I saw light coming from the kitchen as I wandered around and headed there. My grandmother was making tea.

"Not sleeping?" I asked her.

She looked up, smiling softly. "Can't you feel the walls vibrate with your grandfather's snores?" I laughed out loud. "He fell asleep on the lazy boy again, his mouth gapping like a fish. I really must love this man to still put up with crap like that."

"Grandma!" I said, still laughing.

"What?" she laughed too. "Want some tea?"

"Sure."

She patted my cheek. "It's nice to have you home Blake."

"It's nice to be home," I told her. This place held only good memories. It was just unfortunate that there memories were tainted with grief now. It didn't take away from the fact that I was happy to see her and grandpa.

"That smile. I missed it," she told me.

I smiled sadly at her now. "I'm sorry grandma."

"Oh, don't apologize honey," she automatically said, reaching for me, to give me a hug. "There's nothing to apologize for."

"It's hard... to come back here," I admitted, while hugging her back.

"I know," she said, and let go of me. She smiled at me, and made my cup of tea. "How have you been?"

"Better I think," I answered. "I've been trying to... cope better, I guess. But I don't think I'll ever be okay with not having him here," I admitted.

We changed conversation after that, trying not to dwell on our sadness. I talked about school, she talked about new recipes she was trying.

When we were done with our tea, I went back to my room.

I realized I had left my phone turned off since the plane ride, so I checked it. I had one missed call from Lexi. I smiled at it. Did my Pumpkin miss me? Because I sure as hell missed her.

The next day, everyone was a little gloomy. We were going to a funeral after all.

I didn't know the artist that had died.

What I did know was that the last time I had been in this church was for my brother's funeral.

We cremated his body in England, but brought him back here for the funeral.