On Thin Ice

20.

Atlas Miller

My eyes can't seem to find something to focus on.

It's either the distorted light beaming out of the head lights becoming nothing but a blurred, minuscule entity in my vision, the road in front of me; my hands firmly gripped on the steering wheel or the snow that fell nimbly from the pit of darkness above me.

Above the whole of Calgary.

My mind seems to wander off once again.

Darkness. It can be a scary thing for some people. I'm sure no one would want to be forcefully locked up in a cramped room in the dark and be demanded to stay there for god knows how long.

Unless, well... you'd like that?

In my opinion, darkness can be a quite interesting concept.

A mystery almost.

I may be over-analysing things once again but that's besides the point.

Darkness can resemble anything. An emotion, a feeling... a thought.

Who thought I'd ever find myself wondering what the hell the "concept" of darkness was.

Yeah me neither.

It's crazy what your mind can do, all the things it tells you, all the things it does to you, and even people around you. It can be a very powerful thing. Even the brain itself is describes a "complex organ."

You just have to learn how to control it.

I park my car in an empty clearing, right next to another.

Brushing it off, I exit my car and start walking down the small slope that led to the lake, specifically the dock.

I never wear my seat belt.

I don't know why.

Well I do, I just act like I don't.

My hands felt numb from all the coldness that was currently surrounding me.

Plus, I was wearing nothing but a pair of sweatpants and sweater, which pretty much explains why my hands, and pretty much my whole body is numb.

I saunter my way down the dock.

It was dark.

As usual.

But not dark enough for me to not notice the brunette sitting at the edge of the dock. I sigh and carefully lower myself down so that I'm sitting down next to her.

Both our arms are gently rested against each other's, but I don't think she cared... and neither did I.

I find myself watching her as she pressed the end of the cigarette at the entrance of her mouth before inhaling and exhaling again; letting the puff of smoke exit her parted lips before disappearing off into the bitter air.

I wonder what smoking feels like.

My hand fiddles around with the cigarette box in my pocket, contemplating on whether I should try it or not.

It wouldn't hurt to just try, would it?

I let out a long, steady exhale before tilting my head back up to watch the gentle flow of the water and the moon that was subtly reflected on the surface of it.

From the corner of my eye, I catch a glimpse of Autumn as she tosses the used cigarette to the side before bringing her knees up to her face and resting her chin on them.

"Do you ever wonder how the universe was made?" I turn my head slightly to look at her. "No not really."

I stare at her for a few seconds, maybe even a couple minutes.