FUMES [2], jj maybank

15. WATCHING MY YOUTH SLIP AWAY

"Bro, take a breath, explain—"

"Ward knows about the gold," John B turns back to us, "Ward and Weston killed my dad."

I don't run when the others try to go after him. I feel like the whole world is starting to spin.

My dad—killed—my best friend's dad. Sarah's dad—killed her boyfriend's dad.

   "Sam?" I hear Kie call out to me but my head is swirling. Has Weston known about the gold the whole time? That's why they've been working together. That's why Ward stopped paying Weston to stay off the island since last year, because they got close to the gold.

  "She's really pale!" Pope shouts at me. "I need to sit," I walk inside the house and flop onto the couch. "Babe—"

"I shouldn't even be surprised! Right? He was bound to murder someone at some point. He's a violent," I get up and kick the chair, "piece of shit person! But he killed Big John! He fucking knew about the gold!" I kick the chair again. JJ grabs my wrist but I shake it out of his grip. My body is shaking. I need to punch something. I walk over to the cabinets and punch one so hard the wood breaks.

  "Wow, okay," I hear Pope say. I stare down at my fist that quickly starts bleeding from the cuts and wood that cut my fist. "I'm gonna kill Weston!"

"Woah, hey, your fist is bleeding, let me help you—"

"He killed Big John!" I feel the tears roll down my face and I hate it. I'm fucking pissed. A part of me even feels betrayed, as if he hasn't betrayed me enough. "I need to tell Blake and Vanessa but they can't tell Marcus. It'll crush him—"

JJ grabs my face, "Hey, hey, maybe you should calm down before you tell them, okay?" I move his hands from my face and immediately feel bad but I don't move them back.

"Take me home—"

"No, nope. What if Ward told Weston that John B knows? He'll go after you and that's the first place he'll go," Pope makes a point. "Yeah, you're not going back. If you'd like, you can call them and tell them to come here. I'll even do it. You're still pale as a ghost, give me your phone and I'll do it," Kie holds out her hand and I think about it but take my phone out of my pocket and hand it to her.

  You'd think I'd go into a full blown panic attack but I'm feeling too many things to even determine if it's anxiety. "What if Weston attacks my family?" I look back and forth between my friends and JJ.

JJ bites his cheek and looks at Pope for an answer. "What if, JJ—"

"Then, we'll fuckin' handle it, okay?" He grabs my shoulders and stares into my eyes. I calm down a bit. Kie had left the room to, I assume, call my siblings. "Where's John B. He took the fucking gun—"

"I don't know. Let's tell Vanessa and Blake and then we'll find him."

"No, no. Y'all go, I'll wait for him and then just come back in an hour, okay?" I'm worried about JB and what actions his anger will cause. I've never seen him so mad that he pushes us like that or goes completely silent. JJ shakes his head, "Nah, I'll stay here. You two go. Come back in an hour to get both of us. I ain't leaving you alone to deal with this."

I nod in agreement because selfishly, I want JJ to stay with me. I don't even put up an argument. "Okay, they're on the way. I didn't tell them. I just said something happened. We'll be back in an hour. Don't do anything stupid!" Kie and Pope race out the door, leaving us to wait for my sister and brother. My fist stings and I look down to see some dried blood and some still coming out. "Fuck," I curse and put my hand under water. "I'll get the bandages," JJ goes to the closet. "I'm sorry!" I shout.