𝐃𝐈𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐓-𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙢𝙖𝙨

XXV-THE AFTERMATH

Thomas wiped at my forehead, carefully placing a bandage on it. He hasn't said anything since convincing me to let him help me. And I hadn't said anything either. I know he wanted to talk about what happened, but I didn't want to right now.

All I could think about was the fact that Minho was so close to us, and we didn't have him. Months of planning, gone. "What are we going to do?" I whisper when he finishes tending to me.

He sat on the cot next to me after throwing away the soiled tissues. "We have to try again."

"Do we know where we're going?"

"Roughly. We talked to Aris and Sonya-"

"We got them back?"

Thomas nodded. At least it wasn't mostly for nothing. "They said that WICKED always had them on the move. But they mentioned a city. Brenda said there wasn't any left, but I'm gonna look into it." I nodded and looked down at my fingers, trying to scrape off the dirt. "Are we gonna talk about earlier?"

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Aesara-"

"Thomas please." My throat burned and tears begged to fall down. "I just want to think about getting Minho back and that's it."

He sighed. "OK." He grabbed my hands, held them open, and traced the lines of my palms with his eyes. He seemed hesitant about something, but then moved my hands to his face and held them there. He closed his eyes and a look of contempt took over. "I was scared." He admitted. "I-I didn't want to lose you or what we had worked so hard for." He opened his eyes, his eyes lighter with something. I couldn't make it out. "But most importantly you."

I pulled him into a hug, his arms didn't hesitate to pull me closer. "I don't know what I would do if I lost you."

There was chattering from outside of the reconstructed medhut. People talking about whatever happened while we were gone. But I only focused on the way Thomas's body felt against mine. His chest rose and fell against mine as he breathed. His hair in my hands when I ran my fingers through it. "You won't lose me."

He pulled back, his hands on my face now. He rubbed his thumbs over my cheeks, scanning my face, mostly my lips. "Aesara, can I kiss you?"

I blushed and nodded, fearing my voice might crack if I spoke. It started off slow and took us a while to find the rhythm, but when we did, it was like something new awakened in Thomas. He pulled me on top of him, springing a yelp out of me. My knees were on either side of him, his hands on my thighs.

There was a new feeling inside of me, one that I hadn't felt before, mostly because we were constantly on the run and didn't have time to feel or think, but I didn't fear it. Instead, I welcomed it, leaned more into the kiss, wrapped my arms around Thomas. Tangled my hands in his hair that he let grow out.

I tried pulling my fingers out to move my hand, but they got stuck and I ended up pulling some of Thomas's hair. He hissed and I apologized. "It's ok." I slowly worked my fingers out as we panted from lack of air. "Aesara, I love you."

I stopped, staring at him with wide eyes. "You what...?"

"I love you-wait-why are you crying?" He wiped the tears I hadn't realized had fallen down. I tackled him in a hug, his back hitting the mat. He laughed and rolled us over so he was on top. "I'd do anything to protect you. If only it means I get to hold you a little longer."

I smiled and laughed. "That's so cheesy."

Thomas smiled. "But it's true."

I traced his smile, memorizing it because I don't get to see it often. "I love you too." He captured me in another kiss, this one less feverish, but still needy. His hand traced down my side, fingertips ghosting the skin that was revealed by my lifted top. I shivered against him, causing him to smirk.

"Thomas-"

"Thomas-" The door opened and standing in the doorway was a very shocked Newt. when neither of us moved he cleared his throat. "Um, we need your help out in the fields."

"Alright, I'll meet you outside." Newt nodded and walked out, his cheeks and ears red. Thomas and I were silent for a beat and then busted out laughing. He kissed me again before sitting up. He fixed his shirt and then mine. I smiled and sat up, running my hand through his hair in an attempt to make it neater. He grabbed my hand and held it to his face again. "Don't over-exert yourself today, okay."

"Yessir." I saluted with my free hand and he smiled.

"Come on."

He held my hand as we walked out of the crumbling building, not caring that so many people were watching. I blushed and sort of hid myself. Newt and Thomas walked me to the beach, dropping me off for my day job. "I'll see you guys later." I waved them off and joined my work buddies in the water.

As I worked, I was aware of the others looking at me. They whispered, looking away when I caught them staring.

"A failed attempt, I heard."

"What a waste."

"Some kids were brought back though."

"Not the one they wanted."

I swallowed back my tears, standing up, putting my catch of fish on my hip. "You guys are cowards." They ducked their heads at my words, only proving me right. I stomped out of the water, taking my fish to the washing station. I said a small hi to the guy at the tubs. He greeted me, but didn't say anything else.

I held my tears until I was alone, ignoring everyone on my way to the small clump of trees. I say small, but that's an understatement. They were nothing compared to the deadheads back at the Glade, but they were still sizable.

If you weren't careful, you could get lost in them. Like say if you were stuck in your head and not paying attention. You can surely get lost...

Me. I got lost. But I didn't care. It was getting dark, but it could be the middle of the day for all that mattered. I had nothing else to think about other than today's events. And not even the good ones.

If things went differently, would they have Minho back? Would that kid still be alive? Would they be able to survive another day? Would Thomas still have confessed?

I doubted all of those were probable. It was only a matter of if and when.

I didn't feel like crying anymore. The tears were long gone, but the feeling of uselessness wasn't. It was a hole, one I haven't felt since Minho first got taken. It was deep and it was dark and if the right person didn't find you then you would continue to fall. You didn't land, there was just an empty sea of darkness.

I wasn't sure how much time had passed, but it was very dark now. My chin was resting on my knees and the way they stung, it had been for a while. My arms were loosely wrapped around my shins.

The crunching of branches alerted me, but didn't really scare me. I knew the walk by now, it was even but unsure. The voice only confirmed it.

"Aesara." Thomas crouched in front of me, his hands on my arms. "You didn't come to dinner."

"How did you find me?" I didn't look up at him.

"I was actually walking around for a while. It got dark pretty fast and I forgot to bring light. And when I didn't see you at dinner I got worried because what if something happened to you and I just told you that I would do anything to protect you-"

I pushed myself against him, wrapping my arms around his middle, hiding my face in his chest. His heart was beating fast, but slowed a little when I was closer to him. He sighed and wrapped his arms around me, putting his cheek on the top of my head. "We have to get Minho back, no matter what."

His hands ran up and down my back, almost by themselves. "I know. We will, don't worry."