𝐃𝐈𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐓-𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙢𝙖𝙨

XXIII-PLANS THAT ARE MADE DON'T GO AS FOLLOWED

I sat in my hammock for a long time, just staring at the waning darkness, thinking everything and nothing at all. What I pushed away the most was what I wanted to think of more. But Thomas made his emotions clear, whether I liked it or not, I wouldn't find happiness in him.

And who was I kidding? Be realistic Aesara, you live in a world riddled with death and disease. Do you think you would live a long life? A happy one at that? And besides, I don't need to be in a relationship. Not right now, when everything is dicey and not known.

It's for the best.

Or at least that's what I tell myself whenever I catch a glimpse of Thomas around the camp. I turn away before he can catch me looking.

I roll my pants up to my calves, hating that it can't go higher than that and it wouldn't even matter because the waves have been getting higher. I grab the fish pan and join my fellow fish catchers for the day. Luckily the sun wasn't as barring today and the water felt nice on my exposed legs. I had changed from my normal long sleeve to an undershirt so I wouldn't have to worry about them falling. Which reminded me, I needed to wash my clothes.

I heard a whistle coming from the shore. I wasn't far from it, but the crashing of the waves against the rusting engine ship was enough to almost make me miss it.

Usually, that was how the Uppers got our attention, but this whistle sounded different. I looked up and turned around. It was a boy from the original Right Arm camp. I bumped into him a couple of times, but never really got his name.

"Nice ass Aesara." He called out and whistled again.

I made a face and walked toward him, planning to throw the pan of fish at him. But before I reached the shore, Thomas materialized out of nowhere and pulled the boy back. The look he gave him was almost scary.

"Don't you have a job to be doing?"

The boy didn't back down and only looked up at Thomas, who was half a head taller. "Don't you have some people to be saving?" The look in Thomas' eyes told me that this conversation was dangerously close to turning into a fight.

I pushed the boy away, who gave me a face, rolled his eyes, and walked away. "I didn't need your help with that."

"A thank you would be nice."

"A lot of things would be nice." I didn't look up at him, but I was sure he understood. "What are you doing over here anyway? Aren't you supposed to be with Vince?"

"I wanted to talk to you."

"I'm sorry I have a job to do." I started to turn but he grabbed my arm. Only then did I look at him, his eyes were a nice brown color and only got lighter in the sun, which was starting to set.

"Aesara, I'm sorry that I hurt you, alright? I didn't mean to. It's just right now is too complicated to be starting anything-"

"Then why did you kiss me?" My throat clenched, not wanting the words to come out. My eyes burned and I felt the tears starting to leak. "What was the point?"

He stood silent for a second, sighed, and shook his head. "I don't know. But this isn't what I wanted to talk about."

"Then what is it that you wanted to talk about, huh? Is it how much you like me but don't want me? How much do you want Teresa, but can't have her? What is it?"

"Why do you keep bringing her up?"

"Because I'm jealous, alright!" Everything went silent, even the waves as they sensed the tension in the air. I looked around as everyone was looking in our direction. I turned red with embarrassment. "Whatever. Nevermind."

I walked away from Thomas, dropping my catch of fish at the fish station and going to my hammock to grab my clothes. He followed me and called my name, but I ignored him, all the way to a different section of the water that was designated for washing. It was only because its offshoot led away from our fishing spot.

I dumped the old water in the growing shrubbery, which couldn't have been good for it, but it continued to grow so it didn't matter.

"Aesara you can't ignore me forever." As I dumped the bucket into the water to refill it. "Would you just look at me?" As I put my clothes in the bucket and grabbed the soap. His hands grabbed my wrists and pulled mine out of the soapy water. "Just listen to me."

I gave him a hard stare. "Go on. I'm listening."

He looked at my face for a couple of seconds and then at his hands as they gripped onto my wrists. He loosened his hold and held my hands, wiping the soap off of them. "There is no reason for you to be jealous. Whatever happened in the past, happened in the past. And I-we have to live with that. But I did some thinking. And there's no reason for me to be so hung up on someone who hurt us when I have someone better right here. Teresa has always been there, that's true. But you're different from her. In a good way.

"What she is doing is wrong. Siding with the enemy and hurting kids. I can't live with that. Especially if you are at the end of it. If any of my friends are at the end of it. But I swear at the end of all of this, I will give you my everything."

I smiled and wiped away my tears. "That sounds like a very smart plan."

Thomas's face lights with realization. "That's also what I wanted to talk about. But we need to talk to the others too."