Hyacinth || dreamwastaken

14

The way Nick speaks causes worry to rush through my mind. All of this made me feel like this was some sort of goodbye. Was his timer running low? Was he trying to get all his ducks in a row before the little red number inked into his skin hit zero? If he was, that meant we weren't soulmates. That meant that I was about to lose my day one. I was about to be left alone in this world with Clay.

"Nick," I reach out and place my hand against his skin. The fire that once set my skin a blaze still only sits at a light simmer now. It's like a lukewarm bath instead of a boiling pool of lava. The feeling that sits inside my heart is disheartening but I move forward with my statement. "If you're leaving soon please tell me."

"Cinth..." Nick's voice breaks as it trails off. My eyes meet his and I know he wants to get away. His eyes want to break from mine but they don't. They're forced to be glued to mine until he speaks the truth. "Please don't make me do something I don't want to do." He says softly.

His eyes drift from mine and look towards the cameras that surround our courtyard. "You are." I take a step back. "You're leaving me like Tubbo left Ranboo." I shake my head. "This isn't fair!" I yell in anger. The pain that Ranboo still feels, I'm pretty sure I'm beginning to feel it and all I want to do is scream.

"Hyacinth—" Nick reaches for me and I back away. "Hyacinth please." His voice begs for me. Begs for me to stay. Begs for me to allow his touch.

"You kissed me!" I scream as I clench my fists at my sides. I can only assume people are staring now but I can't find it in me to even glance to see. I don't want to see the crowd forming. I want to go run and hide in the only place that's been my refuge. But the problem is, I will only feel more pain there. More pain because he brought me there. He named me there.

In the snap of a finger, my face is damp and my body is being held. I don't even know who has me. I don't know when the tears began to fall. All I know is past my clouded vision I see Nick's hand laced in George's and all I see is red.

"Let's not do this here." A calm voice fills my ears and I know right away it's my once enemy. Clay is taking my pain away. Clay is leading me away from the staring eyes and the lovers who broke my heart, his heart. Clay is being a savior to me, just as he is the savior to everyone else. He isn't evil. He's just... stone cold.

Clay leads me off towards a quiet part in our lands. It's open fields of nothingness. Nothingness and silence. It's his way of giving me a little bit of serenity in a time where none exists.

He lets the silence hold for a while. I don't know how much time passes. I just know it's enough that the sun has set lower in the sky, and air has become brisk and chilly. I don't want to speak, I want him to. Mister know it all, if you're reading my mind. Save me.

"He can't help that the government chose George for him, you know?" I look towards Clay as he fills the air between us with words that sting.

"You could have at least warned me not to waste my time. You knew all along and you let me... get lost. How can you let your friends hurt like this?" As much as I want my words to come off angry, they don't. Defeat is the only tone that fills my statements.

I drop my head to Clay's shoulder, hoping he won't shrug me off as he has many times before. He loathes my touch. But somehow, he also lives for it like I do.

"Sometimes I believe they've got it all wrong and I hope they have. But they never do. I get hurt. You get hurt. Friends get hurt. I try to pretend my knowledge isn't there so I can have a normal life. Except normal doesn't exist to me. I'm sorry I let you pursue Nick. Or I guess a better way to say it is, I'm sorry I let Nick pursue you." Clay drops his head onto mine. And for the first time I feel peace while in the presence of Clay.