Fire On Fire [TK]

(13) I'm awake with you

"Talk,
Let's have conversations in the dark
World is sleeping, I'm awake with you
With you"

❀

- Jk -

Life drained into brown hues that did nothing but usher in the onset of autumn. Their cramped dorm, sweltering with the heat during the summer, now had the freshness of autumn seeping in through the windows, the breeze turning chilly by nighttime. Thick clouds were beginning to form in the distance, and the weather was quite contrary to what the sun during the day had led people to believe.

Jeongguk sat on the freshly mowed grass, leaning against the trunk of a ginkgo tree. In these early September days, the vibrant green leaves were slowly fading to yellow around their edges. Shaped like delicate fans, they fluttered in the gentle breeze, creating a mesmerizing spectacle.

Between the dorm and the company building (and Pdogg's garage), Hakdong Park had become one of their calming spots.

The swings and benches had all heard their whispered confessions, and the flowers witnessed their breakdowns, and the trees had provided them with silent support while they endured.

Jeongguk's senses dulled into a faded tranquility with every rustle of the leaves. His body felt entirely drained, and he desperately needed some time alone.

That was probably the one non-negotiable requirement of an introvert: to ponder over their shame and despair in seclusion.
He needed the sunshine, the moonlight, the night sky, and the soft grass beneath him, with a slow breeze caressing his face, without companions, without conversation, face to face with himself, with only the music of his heart for company.

His birthday had passed the previous week. They were the only trainees left, and it had been announced that they would be debuting as an idol group sometime in the future.

A very distant future, if you asked Jeongguk.

Yoongi had been visibly pissed about it. "They tricked me," he had been muttering every passing minute. He and Namjoon were not expecting that being an idol was in the offering. They wanted to be rappers and producers, not pop idols who wore shiny clothes and pastel hair and grooved on stage in sync. It was put across that being an idol had more chances of success, and their CEO gave them all free rein, under reasonable directions, to write and produce their own songs whenever they wanted to.

When Jeongguk really thought about it, none of them were ideal idol material. Some could rap, some could sing, some could dance, and some could do a bit of everything. In one of his encounters with Bang SiHyuk, their cartoonishly looking CEO had told them they did not need a perfect individual; they needed a perfect team.

And yet, the times for individual practices would be increased tenfold.

Now, they had to learn complex choreographies as a team: memorize positions, change spots, perform stunts, and get in perfect sync. The road seemed bleak when half of the members were not professional dancers. They were dancing as a chore— or like a lesson to be learned— but not something out of their own passion.

They could dance for hours at a stretch, and yet none of them were treading the same path, only ending in exhaustion.

Today was just one of those days. His bones ached, his muscles felt stiff, and no matter how much he tried to look on the bright side, there was always a dark haze over it.

There were times in his tightly packed schedule when Jeongguk had the time to feel, and the ridiculous problem with feeling was... he felt too much.

Everything was too much.