Fire On Fire [TK]

(18) I'll be there

"I'll be there when you get lonely, lonely
Keep the secrets that you told me, told me
And your love is all you owe me
And I won't break your heart"

❀

— Jk —

The wind moved the grey curtains of the living room, brushing them against Jeongguk's frame, pushing him away from reality, and then drawing him back. He munched on an apple, watching Taehyung laying on floor, cushions propped up behind his head, perpendicular to where Jeongguk was sitting.

One fine morning, it had been announced that they would be debuting in three weeks. On June 3rd, Taehyung had been revealed as the secret member, and their debut was to be in ten days. A slot had been booked on Mnet's M Countdown for their debut performance.

The one thing Jeongguk had been working for these past years, struggling and pushing his limits every day to make it happen, was finally going to take place.

And he had received absolutely no time to think about it.

It had been months since any of them woke up without alarms blaring in their ears. When Jeongguk had become a trainee, debuting seemed like a distant dream-all roses and lilies, a beautiful facade from a distance. He saw the glamour that came with it and the fun it seemed to be. He had been warned of the outrageous amounts of exhaustion that came with it, but debut seemed so far away at that time that it felt like watching something unfold on television, perhaps in a drama. He had known all about it, but having never experienced it, it was just a third-party experience.

He could not have been more wrong.
Because when he was pushed into the middle of it, Jeongguk felt like he was being frayed from the sides—someone pulling him apart in all directions, all at once. He simply did not register how days had passed, how the sun had risen, or when it set, when night came, or when it had been sunrise again. All he ever knew was what had been told to him. And there had been plenty being told to him ad nauseam. They had scurried from the Cheonggu building to PDogg's garage to record their songs and get the final tweaks right. Every move in their choreography had to be perfect with not even an inch of error. It kept being analysed frame by frame, every microsecond, for it to be in sync.

It had felt like he was in a hurricane with no way out.

His nerves had been fried, and his caffeine addled mind had oscillated between a constant state of confusion and extreme focus. Sleep hadn't come easy with the fear of debut looming so close, and when sleep came, it had left him more haggard than rested.

Their diet had been monitored for their muscles to form better, and when Jeongguk hit the gym after practices, he thought he would spew blood from his mouth by the end of it.

The members hadn't fared better. Jimin had collapsed more than one occasion. Hoseok's eyebags could have been seen from a mile away. Namjoon could not keep any food down the week leading up to the debut. Jin had passed out on every available surface. Yoongi resembled someone who had just been woken up from his grave, and Taehyung though, he tried his best to hide it, had not been able to stop the tremble in his fingers.

"I pick up my pen every night and close my eyes after the sun rises."

They had eaten, lived, and breathed music until it was time.