Philia

2

Gorgeous by Taylor Swift

Taehyung wants to crawl under a rock and die. There's absolutely nothing else he can do get rid of this weird habit of his.
The one, where he gets all rude, trash talks and insults the person he actually has a likes- Yeah. That one.

Such as what he's been doing with his 7 month's crush Jung Hoseok.

7 month's ago, he *cough* accidentally *cough* stumbled upon the picture of THIS 'awfully handsome, literal ball of sunshine like a man' on his co worker and best friend, Jeon Jungkook's phone. Who just happened to be way too drunk to call for a cab after the company's annual party.

Taehyung still doesn't get it, where's the joy in getting all shitfaced and having a killer hangover headache the next day? But to each their own.

Since that fortunate day, it took like - 150 drinks of beer, 26 promised lunches, different kinds of bribing and the promise of letting Jungkook use his holiday home in Jeju to finally squeeze out all the information about Jung Hoseok. Taehyung didn't mind it at all though. He was way too smitten and thought it was totally worth it.

Keyword: thought. Yes, 3 months later- he's still smitten as ever. But it's definitely NOT worth it.

It's been about 3 months since he became a regular at Autumn Leaves. 3 months since he wanted to befriend Jung Hoseok and ask him out, eventually. And also 3 months since he wants to pull out his small intestine, wrap it around his neck and choke himself to death, because all he has been was rude to that man.

There's no way Jung Hoseok would even want to be friends with a total dickhead like him. Dating doesn't even come in the equation.

And right now, during their lunch break, Jungkook is taking the brunt of Taehyung's bottled agony, self pity and frustration.

He doesn't know how else to explain an angry, crying and snotty Taehyung smothering against his chest. He doesn't mind comforting Taehyung at all. He's his best friend since childhood and he absolutely adores the man.

But that doesn't justify the snot on his newly bought Louis Vuitton leather jacket. He makes a mental note to squeeze the money for dry cleaning out of Taehyung when he's calm and not an unstable volcano ready to erupt.

Because let's be honest here. It's been only an year since he started working and he has got a student loan to pay off. Money doesn't grow on trees.

"Jungkook.... Jungkook. What do I do? What DO I DO?" Taehyung almost bangs his head against Jungkook's chest, knocking the wind out of his lungs through the process.

"I don't know hyung." He shakes his head and carefully pats Taehyung's back as the dramatical wailing finally morphs to mere sniffling.

"I seriously don't understand how you have the face and voice of a God but the mental age of a 5y/o told toddler.
Heck! Even kids these days don't use the mechanism of being mean to their crushes. Meanwhile you're still going at it in your late 20s"

"Don't repeat the given you nitwit. Help me damn it!" Taehyung chimes up. Eyes all swollen and nose red from all the crying and blowing his nose. And Jungkook realises something.

'DAMN. I've seen him have crushes and get dumped so many times because of his ironic personality.......but........ He must really REALLY like Hobi hyung!'

"Okay. OKAY. Stop- stop smothering your salty tears and sticky snot on my chest. The jacket's kind of expensive"

"Jungkook?"

"Right, that's off topic. But fine. I'll look into it. No promises though.

I know you genuinely like him. And even though I know Hobi hyung at a personal level, since he's my sex partner's- *cough* my friend's best friend/neighbour, and an absolute sweetheart- he's still a human and he has a threshold.

So if he doesn't pay heed to you and goes for someone else, promise me you'll not bug him, move on and not become some, one sided lover drowning in depression for the rest of your life."

"Fine. I promise............. At this point I'm even surprised that he keeps giving me his million dollar smiles along with those free muffins on the house.
If I was in his shoes, I'd slap myself.

He's a true ANGEL!"

"I'm a SLUT!"

Jimin's face immediately scrunches in disgust. Hearing your best friend say that is not something you'd like to hear when just swallowed the first spoon of your lunch.

But at this point Jimin has given up on the norm. With Jung Hoseok, it's always, 'NOT the norm'.

If Hobi wasn't already annoying with his unconditional love for the RJ, V- now he definitely is. As a person who makes and serves coffee for a living and also is the owner of a cafe, you'd think he'd happy to have a new regular?

Well, he's NOT! Not when all his co-worker can do is fawn over the new customer and keep wasting free birthday muffins on the house. A love sick Hobi was trouble enough, a Hobi overflowing with kinky thoughts is completely useless at this point.

"No Jimin you don't get it. I'm an absolute slut for those hands. Have you seen how BIG his hands are-"

"Would you SHUT UP?! How many times do I have to tell you Hobi. We're. Not. Having. This. Discussion. Can you please finish your lunch and get back to clean the coffee machine already?
I have seen you procrastinating that and I'm NOT having it!"

"I won't shut up. As my childhood best friend, neighbour since college days and present co worker, you're obligated to hear me out.
And about the coffee machine. Do I really have to?"

"Yes, you do HAVE TO. And no. NO! I'm NOT obligated to listen to you talk about how you want to be CHOKED by Kim Taehyung while he RAMS in you against our bar counter. Or how you want SLATHER cappuccino foam on his chest and LICK IT OFF-

I'm least interested with your kinky fantasies. What I know is already TMI. Now before I cut today's entire money from your pay cheque, get your ass back to work!"

"Fine. But you have to agree. His chest-"

"Please Hobi. For the love of God- NOT AGAIN!!!"