HIDDEN [H.S. FanFiction]

Chapter thirty eight

YOUR WILL IS AS THIN AS A STICK

What followed later that night wasn't much pleasant. Zayn was happy I somewhat forgave him and agreed to try one more time. But let's be clear, I'm giving us one last chance. If things end up being a freaking mess again, there is no way we can continue to be together. He promised he was going to do his best and I did too, but still I wasn't as thrilled with the results of our talk as Zayn.

Whenever we have a problem or a huge fight and after solving things between us, reconciliation sex is the next step and after I unpacked all my things, Zayn couldn't keep his hands for himself. We kissed and shared our regular hour of sex. I'll like to say I enjoyed it, but I didn't.

So far, it had been the only time I actually didn't enjoy it. It has nothing to do with Zayn, he actually was pretty well... but I guess here's where the "Is not you, it's me." bullshit fits to perfection. I didn't feel good with his hands running up and down my body, it didn't feel right. There was something different, I couldn't quite concentrate on the sex cause my mind was full with how much I wasn't feeling comfortable.

And c'mon, sex is not about concentrating. Is about loosing yourself in the feeling.

I have to be honest, I didn't like the way he felt, I didn't like his smell, I didn't like his touch, nor his breath, his warmth, neither his rhythm. The only thing I could think of was the time it was going to finally be over and in order to finish as fast as we could I had to come, cause that's the only way he does. But it was nearly impossible as I felt almost sick about it all, just the mere though of him and his body already touched by who knows what slut brought me to the point of almost throwing up.

So, to end with my misery I had to do something I'm not really sure how to feel about. Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath I determined myself to use my last card, I imagined Harry being the one kissing, biting, taking me instead of Zayn. I had to imagine it were his hands caressing my skin, his lips kissing every inch of my body, his breath making goosebumps prominent.

And ta da! I came and he followed.

I was kind of amazed at how fast I reached my high after thinking about Harry...but a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do.

I even had to freaking bite my tongue from saying his name, otherwise things would have ended pretty badly.

Once the business was done I gave him my back and fell asleep quickly.

The next day, Zayn left early to meet with Katherine and the rest of the management team, and I prepared myself for my day with Harry. I kept thinking about what I should do. I had just forgiven Zayn and we both not only promised to be honest with the other but also try our best to make things work and in order to do so I had to stop what I was doing with Harry.

It just didn't seem right after giving Zayn one last chance.

Is stupid, I know. We just started and it wasn't almost fair with him to end our deal when we just made it. But I couldn't do it, I couldn't be with both of them at the same time, the previous times I guess I justified myself by the fact I almost wanted to kill Zayn, but now that we're rather cool, I don't think I could handle all this. I'm not really the cheating type...

Sure not.

Irrational bitch burst into laughter, her perfectly manicured finger pointing at me in accusation as her head shakes in disapproval.

-

I park my car near Gemma's favorite store and text Harry, but a knock on my window startles me.