𝐌𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐌𝐚𝐝𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬

16 | Save Me From Myself Before I Fall

(A/N: I don't usually put trigger warnings in my chapters as you guys might know, but this chapter in particular mentions sexual assault, homophobic slurs and violence. The actions in this chapter sheds a harsh light on the reality of prisons and I have done extensive research on the psychological reasoning behind this. If you do not wish to read this chapter, I will put a plot synopsis in the comments at the very bottom paragraph so you know what happened without having to read it)
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TOM

Two months of this prison shit. Nine and a half weeks of being confined to my room with a flickering fluorescent light and no pillow. The doors automatically opened at seven in the morning, and locked at nine thirty at night. We were allowed to wander around between those times, go to the shitty makeshift library, play board games or go to the gym. Other than that, there wasn't much else to do in any given day.

It was like Groundhog Day, because every fucking day was the same old shit. On Thursdays, we were allowed to shave our faces, balls or whatever else you wanted to shave. You went to a specific bathroom, you were handed a cheap razor and a tube of shaving cream and you were watched like a fucking hawk by guards. We then had to hand back the razors in tact and without signs of tampering. If a blade was missing or the razor looked at all different to how you received it, the whole wing got put into lockdown.

You can also get haircuts from the barber who came in once a week. The lines were always ridiculously long so they prioritised the people with the longest hair first.

There's a few jobs you can volunteer for to earn money in the slammer too. And money, is good because you can buy things like cup noodles or chocolate or extra toilet paper. It also works brilliantly for bribes slid under the tables. The main advice I was given, was to save up money to buy waterproof bathroom shoes first because the communal shower floors were disgusting.

I volunteered in the kitchens, helping to serve food for the Wing B inmates. After them, I got to eat with my own wing. There were both good and bad reasons to work this shift because although I got to shower after the people in my wing, I had to shower with Wing B. And these were the guys who were the worst crooks you could come across. Mostly the sex offenders and child molesters. Fun.

I sat with three other men on one of the cafeteria tables as I usually did. I have barely spoken to them but we sit together every day for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Two of them are the guys in the rooms either side of me. The third guy is some guy called Jamal. They're the only men in here who know why I'm in here and who I am.

"Hey Dutch, can I use your girlfriend as my wank material tonight? Your mum is getting old to think about night after night," one of the neanderthal looking inmates said as he walked past our table with his dumb fucking juice box and sloppy potato salad and sat next to me.

I stayed silent as I always did. A few of the inmates saw Y/N when she visited me and rumours have spread quickly about her appearances. I haven't responded to any of them, purely because I didn't want to fuel the fire.

"She have an OnlyFans or anything? I can ask my next visitor to bring out some printed photos of her tits to tape above my bed. I'll be spraying her pretty little face with hot cum night after night," he said, shovelling a mouthful of coleslaw into his mouth.

I stayed silent, ripping off the little plastic straw from the back of my juice box and stabbing it through the punch hole; a little too hard in fact.

"I'm sure if she's dating a little scrawny piece of shit like you, she'd love to meet me and have big daddy show her what it's like getting screwed by a real man," he chuckled, sipping his fucking juice box with a full fucking mouth of dumb fucking potato salad.