36- Just a ray of Hope

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"Okay, now mister John, would you mind listing up your shirt so I could have a listen to your breathing?" Dr. Han asked.

He was the only suggestion Tatiana had for Jay, he was one of the best doctors in this specialty. Tatiana managed to convince Jay about seeing him, after what they shared last night. He went with her at her Appartement but nothing more. He just waited for her until she went in at her doorstep.


Either way they were at Dr. Han the next day, not forgetting what his now identity is. John Bryan.

Jay nodded and slowly lifted up his shirt to reveal his chest. The doctor put his stethoscope to his chest and listened for a few seconds before signing and shaking his head slightly.


"I'd like to refer you for an MRI scan, just to make things certain" he buzzed for a nurse, "if you go with Nurse Hunnigton then he will take you tonbe x-rayed," he smiled at Tatiana.



Why does Jay feel like a child with his mother in the examination room?



She smiled unsurely back at him before following Nurse out of the room and along some long, squeaky clean hallways.

"I'l get the machine set up for you" he handed Jay one of those blue patterned hospital robes which changed into behind the curtain he had pointed to.

Jay was then instructed to lie down on a bed
while he clicked some buttons. slowly the bed started moving into a big, half moon shaped object.

"Just keep really still okay, close your eyes and don't worry about it okay?" he smiled.



Less than half and hour later Jay was back in the doctors. The doctor had disappeared off to get the resultsnfrom his MRI scan and hehad been waiting for a very nervous five minutes, though it felt like forever. The doctor eventually returned, fiddling with some pieces of paper in his hand.

"Well, it's not great news" he said, "but I'm going to be honest with you"



"Your previous doctor was right. We will have to go ahead with the tumor." He feels Tatiana's hold on his hand loosen, her ownn skin going cold at her words. Second opinion, just the same. All this to bear a repetitive heartbreak. He just nod at her, that small part of hope in her heart dying a slow death as he gulps,
looking at the doctor who seems surprised with the news.


"Is there no other way?" Tatiana manages to ask, her voice clipped.

"Some people are lucky enough to beat their
cancers, but that is mostly when we remove
them. I'm afraid yours, removing the tumoris the only way to slow down his time" he said

"Is there any other way?" Jay asked.



The doctor sighs, looking down at his hands
before meeting their eyes.

"The fibroid isn't benign, John. It's a tumor."

"We ran a biopsy, which is why it took so many
days to get back to you. You've blood cancer but the good thing is the tumor you have it's still in the middle stages, so we can perform the surgery, which will get rid of it."



"What's the state he is going to be until the surgery?" Tatiana asked.

"The side effects can be severe vomiting,
diarrhoea, hair loss, tiredness" he explained,
"and once it is administered we can't do
anything to reverse it, the surgery is just a way to slow it down."

"That's okay" Jay's voice.

"we need to start the treatment as soon as possible."



"What's the treatment?" I ask her, my instincts
kicking in. "Tell me, is it fatal?"

Because cancer in her head sounds like death.
This what google told her, but for once, it
wasn't wrong or exaggerating! She came across endometriosis cancer.

It's funny how it actually came out to be true.


Jay hasn't spoken a word apart from ger
name. He just wishes he could peak into his head and look at his thoughts because mine are all leading towards darkness.

"Tatiana" he whisper to her. "Are you okay?"
He gives her a blank look but just gulps, nodding her head and he know she's lying. He can't be strong anymore, not for us, not for her, and especially not for himself. She tighten her hold on his hand.


"No, if eradicated, it isn't fatal. I'm hoping that
performing the surgery would help, but you
would need to undergo chemotherapy along
with it for other cancer cells which might prevail."

"There's about five year survival rate, regardless."

She explains, and after a while, she zones her out.

Five year survival rate.

She did know before, but it's just too much.

"We can schedule a date for surgery. Just give
me a call, alright?" Han hands her over a copy of reports which Jay takes. After they leave his clinic, she turns to Jay and he finally looks at her.




Her heart is hurting like someone has ripped it to shreds as she notice Jay's expressions. She wrap her arms around him, providing him the comfort he has provided her before.

"Let's go?" He asks, not wanting to have this conversation on a sidewalk because he's barely holding himself together.

He doesn't respond but then he sort his car. They silently make their way to her Appartement and then he drives himself to the penthouse. The word cancer repeats in her head like a chant as she let the dam of her emotions break free.

How can a single person who she've met three or four have the power to crush her life through a few words?


She was unlocking the apartment when her hands start to shake. She heard her name being called."Tatiana"

Hearing her name, she quickly turns her head, only to meet a masked guy. Forehead sweating and heart racing, she freezes in her spot.



Just like fifteen years ago, she couldn't scream nor make any noise. She crumbles on the ground, still looking at the man in front of her with great fear.

"Don't try to run. You're done for." The man says as he approaches her. Another black man pulls next to him and many black suited men get out of it with his gun pointing toward her.





Heart pounding in her chest, her vision starts blurring. "Take her." Before she can close her eyes, she feels her body being lifted and she's welcomed by a sweet darkness.

Just another sweet nightmare to end the day.


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