Our happily ever after? (Remadora fanfiction)

Million Mistakes

This chapter is dedicated to our favorite prisoner of Azkaban. Maybe there's a little Remadora at the end of the chapter, I'm not sure yet, let's see how the writing goes.

PS! I also added the song "Dear Theodosia" from Hamilton the musical. I put this song here because it gives me a vibe for that chapter, and because of that song, I was inspired to write this chapter when I ever get here. For me, Burr is Sirius and Theodosia is little Lena, and then Alexander is Remus and Philip is Teddy. It sounds so cute to me, just imagine Sirius and Remus singing about their little kids and how they are willing to do anything for them, just that thought is already making me cry and I would like a Netflix series, six seasons, and two movies about only this.

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The last few weeks had been one of the worst weeks for Sirius' life, and he had many horrible times in his life, from a violent and abusive childhood, two wars in which he lost almost everyone he loved, and 12 years in the most terrible place in the wizarding world, Azkaban. But now, he felt darker than ever, not even in Grimmould's place or Azkaban itself had ever been able to cause him the kind of pain that this little country cottage did now. Here was her everywhere, the whole house was full of her things, her photos, her precious books, her smell, and her beauty. Their common, king-size antique bed was imbued with her sweet, slightly cinnamon-scented floral aroma, which was almost always the same, reminding Sirius of all the bottles of perfume that stood on her bedside table. 

Sirius felt cursed. Everyone he loves dies. Except for Remus, Tonks, and Harry, he has no one left. Look around, he was meant to be alone. Alone in his childhood home, alone in Azkaban, alone in a cave near Hogwarts, alone here. Always alone. Everyone he had ever truly fallen in love with had either died at the peak of their love, or left him. With a broken heart, he had learned to live, when someone broke his heart James was always there and he always could cry on the shoulders of his best friend and dearest mate, but grief was something Sirius could not handle. It began when he saw his own little brother kill Sirius' long-time enemy, but also his beloved, Iraza, before his eyes. The girl he had been engaged to since birth, whom he grew to hate at first, but then began to understand and eventually fell in love with. But he lost her. Then, a few years later, he lost James, a friend who was always there for him, and Lily, someone whose heart was so pure and who cared about them all as if they were her brothers. He lost them. And now, after dozens of deaths, he lost her, his dear Magdalena, the first person he had fallen in love with after that terrible Halloween night. He felt terrible, he felt like Dementor had kissed him and sucked the whole human out of him. Depression and loneliness were intolerable. He couldn't think and feel nothing but pain. He spent many days lying in bed, crying and shouting, he couldn't even eat. When someone came to his doorstep, be it Harry, Remus, Bill, or another member of the Order, he drove them all away. He didn't want to see anyone, he wanted to die and make no one know. Magdalena's funeral had been the worst, he couldn't let go, he just couldn't. With Magdalena, he had felt happy, she had been his happiness. It was Sirius' longest and most serious relationship ever, they were destined to get married, they had to get a daughter together and spend the rest of their lives caring for their precious daughter ... his daughter. At first, Sirius felt great anger at the child whose birth had taken his beloved from him. He told himself that he did not care for the child, that he did not love her and did not care what would become of her, but after each day, alone in this house, his thoughts began to change. He had lied to himself. He cared for this child before she was born, he loved her and he wanted the best for her, had her birth really changed Sirius' thinking? Guilt grew in him every moment, and every time he thought of the child who had wept desperately in the hospital and he had tried to avoid her at all costs, his heart shattered as if it had been thrown down from the tallest tower in Hogwarts. The child was not to blame for this, it had been his and Magdalena's decision, it had been Magdalena's decision. Magda had left a letter to Sirius, which the poor man had read hundreds of times, "I want you to be happy, my Love, I want to sit on the edge of the cloud and see you both happy, I love you both with all my heart, and I hope that you can forgive me. " it was only a short passage from Magda's letter, and Sirius could not get her words out of his head. Magdalena wanted to give him everything she got, but what he did with it? He gave it away. It was the biggest mistake he ever had made. He had always despised those people who fled their responsibilities, especially those who said things like, "Oh yeah, my girlfriend got pregnant, and I left her, it's not a big deal, it was her decision and it was her fault that she didn't use protection. " or stories like that, "I gave birth two years ago, but I haven't seen my baby, they're probably with my parents, I don't know, I haven't been there in years." Sirius had always hated this behavior, yes, as a young man he had never dreamed of having a child and a partner, but he knew even when he was fourteen and started dating his first girlfriend that if anything happened, he would not run away but takes responsibility. Now he felt like an asshole.