Our Senior Year

36: Negative Thoughts

After taking a shower and changing to pajamas, Chaewon went inside Heejin's room as quiet as she can.

"I'm still awake so no need to move silently like a thief" Heejin said after noticing her.

Before going to bed beside Heejin, Chaewon stood in front of the mirror and checked the clothes she's wearing.
"This shirt is comfy, is this Y/N's?" she said while stretching the shirt.

"Yup"

As soon as Chaewon laid on her bed, Heejin stared at her for a whole minute without saying anything to her. Meanwhile, Chaewon, who has no idea why the latter's doing it shyly turned around so that her back will be the one facing Heejin.

"Mmm, your hair smells really good" Heejin said while sniffing Chaewon's hair.

After hearing it, Chaewon immediately rolled slightly to her side and faced Heejin, who's interrupted on what she's still doing. "H-Hey, so your habit of smelling my hair really didn't go away afterall?"

"I've been holding back at school and on the times when you were here"

(A/N: This habit of Heejin started when they started getting along really well but she stopped smelling her hair two years ago)

"Heejin, that's gross!"

"I know, so let me sniff it for a second" Heejin reached for her hair again.

"NO" Chaewon tied her hair on a bun to hide it from Heejin.

Heejin pouted, "I'm leaving next week, is that how you're gonna treat me?"

"Are you serious? I thought it's like a month before you leave, but why?" Of course I know it, I'll just pretend that I don't.

"You know Chaewon, things happened"

There's only one thing running through Chaewon's mind while the two of them are chatting on Heejin's bed: "She has a problem and needs comfort" that's what Chaewon thought.

"Heejin, you need someone to talk your heart out?"

- Heejin's POV -

The entrance examination will be held next week at the university in Germany where I planned to enrolled at. But there's also another news which rushed my decision.

My father's in grave ill condition and has to undergo surgery, the chances of surviving was low but mom decided to do it. Losing my dad will be heartbreaking for us. And I can't leave her alone if things were to happen.

Even I don't want to get separated with my friends, they're always there when I needed them the most, especially Y/N, the person that I love. Sometimes, I even ask myself: "Is this necessary?" "Do I really have to study abroad?" But from the start I already knew that this time will come and even if I tried to avoid it, nothing good will happen from it.

Well. there's a saying that "People come and go" right? But I didn't expect that I'm the one who has to go.

That's why I want to just stay friends with him, but my heart won't let me do so.

Once I leave, what will happen to us? Will we continue to be lovers or will he find someone who's with him during the time that I'm not there?

I shouldn't think about these but you can't help it. Or I'm just exaggerating.

- Chaewon's POV -

"How are you so sure that Y/N will find someone else? All of us know him, never in a thousand years will he do that!" 

I never thought that Heejin will think like that, don't she trust him at all? To be honest, when I knew that they're already dating, it broke my heart. Seeing my first love end right in front of me. I had a lot of regrets, like will Y/N choose me if I told him how I feel about him?

Until now, All I have is regret. So I don't want it to happen to Heejin and Y/N, knowing her, she may even break up with him just becaue of her thoughts.

As her friend, I should comfort her in any way I could.

"I know, I'm sorry I said that, we should just sleep" Heejin told me as she pull her blanket and prepare to sleep.

"Oh, and let me tell you one thing before we sleep"

"What is it?" Heejin asked.

"Nothing, I'm still your friend no matter what happen, remember that"

"Tsk, Goodnight Chaewon"

"Goodnight Heejin"