Can't Get Out | Ryeji

Chapter 11

RYUJIN

We eventually let go of each other's hands when we arrived at our place.

"I'll make us coffee." I told Yeji, and she went to the living room sofa to have a seat.

We already know each other's preference when it comes to drinks or foods. Yeji is a huge fan of sweets so her coffee is a lot more sweeter than mine.

When I finished making our coffee, I sat down beside her and handed her the drink I had made

"Sorry. We had to cancel our plans for lunch." She suddenly stated.

"It's not a problem." I assured her and smiled.

"Are you not hungry?"

"We ate breakfast pretty much late earlier. I'm fine. And you know me, coffee over everything."

She giggled.

And it made me smile. 

"That's better." I blurted out.

"Hmm?"

"When you smile." I stated. "Do it more often."

"For you?" She teased.

"Silly. Of course, for yourself." I told her as I patted her on the head. 

"Thank you, Ryujin." She said.

"For?"

"For what you did earlier." She replied. "It felt nice to have someone that certain time."

"I can be with you at any time, Yeji." I said and she smiled. "Am I allowed to ask?"

She faced me with a serious face. "What's there to ask? About my family problems?"

"No."

I wouldn't. Even if I'm curious. I can be worried but that's not my story to tell.

"Hmm?"

"Are you okay now?"

She didn't answer.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Again, she didn't answer.

So the room was filled was silence. But it wasn't awkward. Well, for me, it wasn't.

Until she spoke.

"We're not in good terms." She stated. 

I didn't respond and I waited for her to continue.

"Office work is not for me." She continued. "I don't even know where I'm good at."

I listened. 

"My childhood was full of training and lesson that I didn't even wanted or understand." She said. "It felt like my future was planned by my parents that I didn't had the chance to discover what I really wanted. And now here I am, doing office work, and being a disappointment to them. As if it's my fault."

"It's not your fault."

"It's not?"

"Of course, it's not."

"Glad to hear it even once in my life." She smiled "I hope they also know that."

I stayed silent. 

"You know, before, I thought my sexuality was the issue that they always treat me like I'm a disappointment. Not until we had a huge fight at home and my dad uttered words I didn't like, saying I'm not good enough, yeah. Like that."

"Your sexuality?"

"Yeah." She simply answered. "Why are you surprised?" She asked sarcastically.

"Don't take this in a wrong way. I just thought you're.. uh.. straight? Yeah." I said, scratching my head, hoping it didn't come off as offensive to her.

"Why would you assume that?" She laughed. "We even kissed and you thought I am?" She replied. "But boys can be pretty nice too sometimes. Just sometimes."

"Kissing someone doesn't tell that you're into them, you know?"

"I never said I'm into you." She chuckled and I panicked to explain.

"What I'm saying is-"

"You know, you're cute." She said. "You can be pretty naive at times."

"Should I take that as compliment?" 

"Yes." She said and noticed that she finished her coffee already so she placed her cup on the table in front of us.

"It doesn't sound like it is." I told her, sounding pissed.

"Because I like it." She suddenly said. "The way you react when I tease you or what."

And the next thing I knew was I was smiling. And I have no control over it.

"Should I act like that often then?" 

"Maybe, until I'm tired of it." She countered.

We both giggled until there was some silence filled in the room again until I started a conversation.

"But you know," I started.

"Hmm?"

"You're strong." I said. "And I admire you for that."

She smiled. A very warm one. But she looked down as if she can't take the compliment I just said. "Thank you." She replied. "But I'm still working on being strong."

"That alone makes you brave, Yeji." I told her. "I know words can seem empty but I hope you know I mean it."

"Thank you, Ryujin."

"I'm on your side."

"Really?" She asked. "I might get used to it."

"Then so be it." I told her. "We're living together too. Who else will be by your side, you know?"

She laughed. "Right." She uttered. "I'm glad to know someone is on my side." 

And she smiled at me.

And once again, I felt my heart skipped a beat.