Jeon Hwihyeol's POV
It's the next morning, and I don't have the energy to get out of bed. Gaeul left an hour ago, and once again, I felt empty. The pain is still in my chest while Heejin's words are still echoing in my head.
"Hyeol, I made breakfast." I heard my sister's voice outside my room.
I'm sorry if I'm being like this, Heejin.
"I'll just take a shower," I said, loud enough for her to hear.
"Alright. I'll be downstairs, "she said, and I heard her faint footsteps.
I forced myself to get up and went into my bathroom. I saw myself in the mirror and laughed at how I looked. I look like a fucking mess.
I grabbed my toothbrush and put toothpaste on it and brushed my teeth. To summarise things, I did my morning routine, just the usual things I do in the morning, except that I cried while I was showering.
I put on my uniform and threw a hoodie over it. I applied some make-up, hoping that it would cover up the broken piece of me and the fucking eye bags under my eyes. I put on my eyeglasses and finally went downstairs.
There I saw my twin sister patiently waiting for me at the dining table. I made her notice my presence by letting my slippers produce some noises, making her turn to me.
Her lips curled into a faint smile as she greeted me good morning. There's no good in my morning, Heej.
"Morning." I replied to her as I took the seat across from her.
She then started filling my plate with the waffles she made. I don't really have the appetite, but I don't have the heart to say no to her.
"Thank you," I said to her.
"You're welcome," she said with a smile.
I'm the older one. I'm at least 12 minutes older than she. I should be the one taking care of her, but here she is, looking after me all the time.
I slightly turned my head up when I felt my eyes getting teary again. I can't cry in front of her.
"I'm sorry." Here she goes again.
Stop it, Heejin.
I didn't say a word and hurried up. I finished all of the food she put on my plate and made my way to the garage, getting into my car.
I let some of my tears fall down my cheeks. I tried to calm myself down using the technique Gaeul taught me. I imagined that she was here and did the breathing exercise she taught me.
I started the car, and when I saw Hyunjin leave her house, I turned away to avoid looking at the girl I adore the most.
The wounds are still fresh, and whenever I think about her, it feels like someone is pouring alcohol on those wounds.
Thankfully, I reached the school safely without crashing. I saw some of my friends in the parking lot, but I chose to walk in the opposite direction, purposely avoiding them for now. I stayed in the school garden, peacefully looking at the flowers. I spent a few minutes there until I decided to leave.
My feet brought me to the place where I was about to end it all, and I saw her there.
"Cielo", she called me.
How can she call me that after she made such a decision?
She's looking at me with an apologetic look. I know what's going to happen next. I want to run away, but my feet won't move. What the hell?
She walked towards me and her scent filled my nostrils. Even smelling her makes my heart hurt like hell.
"I knew it already," I managed to say out loud.
I saw how the emotions in her eyes changed, but I couldn't pin point what emotions were in her brown orbs.
"Cielo", she called me again.
"My Cielo"
"Look at my Cielo!"
"Cielo, I made a playlist for you."
"Cielo, I like you."
"I'm certain about you, Cielo."
The moments she called me flashed in my mind. They were all filled with love and adoration, but now, she's saying it with a mix of pain and sadness.
Her hands delicately cupped my face, and I couldn't feel the ring in her finger anymore. I feel like my whole world is slowly collapsing.
What happened to us, Cali?
Cali means "most beautiful." And Hyunjin is the most beautiful to me. Too beautiful that it hurts so much to let her go.
"I'm so sorry," she apologized.
"It's fine," no, it's not.
I want to cry so badly, but I can't. Not in front of her, not in front of Heejin, not in front of the two of them, because I don't want them to hold themselves back because of me.
She's saying something, and I stare at her face. I may not be able to see her this close up again. I tried to remember every detail of her beautiful face. She's so goddamned beautiful.
"I don't deserve you, my Cielo," she said.
Yes, because you deserve the best, and it's safe to say that I'm not the best.
I couldn't help myself and pulled her into a hug. I securely wrapped my arms around her, the same way I did for 15 years. Our arms found their way around each other. It seemed like they had their own lives and every time the two of us got close to each other, they would automatically go and wrap themselves around the other. I guess I have to control them now. I have to get rid of that habit.
I broke off the hug and looked at her eyes. I love her eyes the most.
"Cali..." When I spoke, it sounded more tender than I wanted it to be.
Her expression softens and I see sadness in her eyes.
"Please love my sister right." I paused and smiled. "She deserves that."
I couldn't handle looking at her anymore, so I left. She didn't chase after me anymore. I guess that's it.
There it was... the end of something that never had the chance to get started. And it's a shame because I really wanted to be the one for you.
Maybe in our next lifetime, we'll get it right, Cali.
