Undercurrent 【YeWei】

（二十九）Twenty-nine

Liar.

Ye Zun glanced at his phone, carried his suitcases and followed the driver to the car with a cold face.

How could he still naively believe in what Shen Wei said?

His fingertips swept over the dialogue box of Shen Wei, who had left a message this morning reminding him to pack his luggage and wait for him until he comes from work to take him to the airport.

For some reason, the time Shen Wei said he was coming to see him off was considerably later than his airline ticket. He wanted to send a message to Shen Wei to ask about it, but the argument from the night before made him unable to pull back and show weakness again.

He waited for a long time, stubbornly waited for an extra hour despite the housekeeper's advice, waited until he was going to miss his flight if he didn't go to the airport, waited until the housekeeper forced him to arrange a driver, waited until finally, he had to leave, and there was still no news from Shen Wei's side, nor any sign that he was coming to see him off, not even bothering to find the time to make up an excuse.

Perhaps Shen Wei had not been prepared to see him off from the start, and that was why he had coincidentally timed it wrong.

How could a man as meticulous as his brother be like this if he didn't mean to do it?

The rain wasn't too heavy, but it patterned on the ground, carrying the damp air upwards and making people's moods worse for nothing. Ye Zun looked out of the window, unable to say what he wanted or expected.

It might have been an apology, it might have been an explanation, it might have been just a hug from Shen Wei, but Shen Wei had given him nothing.
On his last night in Dragon City, the man he had loved dearly for so long and had slept with for quite a few times, left him with no word, an icy heartless ignorance, just like they had before.

Perhaps this was for the best. For Shen Wei, for him, for both of them. Shen Wei would no longer have him as a burden, and he, having left Shen Wei, would start afresh.

The road was a bit congested, and the driver sped up as he raced to the airport, grinding through security before he was finally left completely alone.

There were a lot of people coming and going around, and the hustle and bustle that passed by seemed to make him the loneliest one in the crowd. He was about to leave the country for an environment he was unfamiliar with, and Shen Wei, his dear brother, the man he had loved for so many years, was not even prepared to show this last bit of affection, or at least to give him a proper goodbye.

Sometimes he feels that he was too petty and low.

He could stand tall and face the world, but he couldn't accept a little bit of criticism from Shen Wei, whether it was his fault or not.

He always hurts Shen Wei, was unable to restrain himself, speaking coldly to him, and even recklessly committing messes that needed to be fixed and cleaned by Shen Wei, but he just didn't want to let Shen Wei look down on him. He knows he can take care of himself and become strong, he does not need Shen Wei to control and spoil him so much, he can take responsibility.

He has been careful to take care of his relationship with Shen Wei, starting with searching for how could they properly call this relationship. But he just couldn't understand what happened after that.

He just craved recognition, especially from Shen Wei, even if it was a little bit, but Shen Wei didn't take him seriously at all. Shen Wei was just using him.

Using his body, using his feelings. He knew that his involvement in the Dark Water was an opportunity that Shen Wei had his men to hand it to him as if it was some kind of sympathy from Shen Wei, but at that time he was desperate. So he forced himself to bow down and accept the other path that Shen Wei had opened for him, wasting a lot of effort to bring himself from knowing nothing to knowing a little.

He could not see through Shen Wei, even though he often hurts him, even though he spoke unkindly, even though he was sometimes cold and sometimes hot, but this man still did not complain, let alone overreact, as if Shen Wei really couldn't help but to only treat him with warmth and unlimited indulgence, and this was the most annoying and disgusting thing to him.

From the time his mother brought him with her into the Shen family to marry his father officially, everyone took pity on him, treating him like a weakling.

He was, to put it mildly, just Shen Wei's spoiled younger brother, the young master of the Shen family, a bastard who has been elevated to a higher status. No one cared about what he thought, or how he felt, even the equity his father gave him was taken by his older brother. It was another ridiculous handout in disguise, so when he knew that Shen Wei was gobbling up his shareholding, he didn't tell anyone. Because Shen Wei was really mitigating, showing goodwill and well-meaning that were about to overwhelm him.

He thought Shen Wei was different, thought his older brother would respect him, thought Shen Wei knew how to look up to him, to care about him, but Shen Wei did not.

Shen Wei was just one of those people who looked down on him, maybe more than those who looked at him as a joke.

It wasn't that he hadn't noticed Shen Wei's compromise, but that was precisely the last thing he needed.

He wanted Shen Wei to respond to him, wanted Shen Wei to give him a little more enthusiasm, wanted...Wanted Shen Wei to care about him a little more, but Shen Wei didn't understand. This brother, whom he loved so much from the bottom of his heart, responded to him only with false feelings, only with endless compromises, and in the end, only with a perfunctory look at him.

The journey back from the Snake's house was the one time he could feel Shen Wei the most. He sensed Shen Wei's panic and wondered irrepressibly if perhaps his older brother had really cared for him if he really liked him, but now that he thought about it, it was just him dreaming, dreaming a dream that was fervently alive in his head only.

He felt the world was so cruel to him, so cruel that he had to deceive himself with fondness from his older brother, so cruel that even though he knew full well that Shen Wei was using him, he could not restrain himself from liking him, wanting to be closer to him, to feel a little more real.

But a fake is a fake. His dreams can only be dreamed by one person.

He had sacrificed too much, been cautious and thought too much in this relationship, and looking back, it did seem to be just wishful thinking on his mind.

Although he had his share of excesses and probably had hurt Shen Wei, he couldn't control himself, he really regretted it, but the apology was too heavy, too heavy for him to open his mouth, too heavy to destroy the little confidence and pride he had left to build up for himself, so he could only shut up, again and again, waiting silently for Shen Wei to take the initiative next time and hold him tighter, even though his older brother's intention was simply to just get laid.

He was just a fuck buddy to Shen Wei. He was an insignificant, tight-lipped, reassuring fuck buddy, someone who could be thrown away when he was done.

It's funny to admit that Shen Wei isn't the only one who needs this relationship too much. Perhaps he needs it even more than Shen Wei, he needed his older brother, he craved for his touch, wanted to feel his brother's warmth properly, but he couldn't say it out loud.

How could he show weakness? How could he bow down to someone who looked down on him? How could he give in to Shen Wei?

After glancing at his boarding pass and finally checking his phone, which had no messages, Ye Zun ruthlessly switched off the device that had attracted too much of his attention.

He would start afresh, try to become stronger, come back and step on Shen Wei's head fiercely, and tell this brother who should really beg who.

Ye Zun pressed the brim of his cap and walked towards the boarding gate.

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