Harry had to stop talking, closing his eyes to take a deep breath as if he was fighting off the painful memories.
It killed me inside that he went through all that, it still seemed surreal to me that he'd been trafficked. No one ever deserved to go through something so cruel, and I was proud of how Harry was handling this.
"Harry, this is too much of a coincidence," Zayn said, catching his attention. "I mean, Ash was our friend... and she was dating your long lost sister who got adopted in secret? I know Anne mentioned Gemma wasn't in New York, but finding her like this in L.A. is crazy."
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Are you really saying that I wouldn't know if it was my own fucking sister?"Harry snapped, taking a step closer to him. "I know it sounds crazy! But the whistling... this isn't a fucking coincidence, it's my sister. She was acting the way I've always acted during an episode, she's probably like me and she doesn't remember. I'm not gonna lose her again."
It made sense if she had repressed it all like Harry. Forgetting was safer and it kept them from facing the pain, but it was temporary. I mean, Harry was still dealing with his past and I knew it hurt to talk about or accept it. And now he was so agitated and determined to keep Holly safe, my brain was trying to catch up.
Maybe Holly was so terrified last night when she hid in the bedroom that it
triggered her memories? Or what if that was her brain's instinctive reaction because she felt just as scared as she used to feel when she was little?
I knew Landslide was a well-known song and I didn't want to believe it had any connection to the whistling Harry always listened to his dreams or episodes. I was aware his sister used to whistle it to him to calm him down... what if Holly was trying to calm herself down by doing the same?
Maybe she had the same coping mechanisms as Harry.
Fuck, this couldn't be real.
"Okay, let's say she's Gemma," Zayn said. "What are you gonna do? Just dump everything on her? Have you forgotten she had no clue about Ash's life? We're not exactly good people, Harry."
"Thank you for the fucking reminder." Harry lowered his voice and took another step closer to Zayn. "Now shove it up your ass."
"Harry, I know this is a lot for you and you have the right to feel emotional about this, but I'm trying to be rational. The probability of this happening is close to zero. Like, the fact Gemma is Holly is-′
"Shut the fuck up, Zayn!" Harry shouted. "You always want to seem all smart but now isn't the fucking time. It's my sister. I know it is!"
This was so fucking confusing and conflicting.
I could understand Zayn, I mean, we all had trust issues and we were wary... this was indeed a huge coincidence and it was insane. But Harry was certain it was Gemma and I trusted him. No matter how uncontrolled or on edge he was, he would never make a mistake about his damn sister.
Especially not after what he discovered about his past.
He had to live with those painful memories every day and now he said they were clearer... but not only Gemma's face was clearer, I was sure the painful parts were worse too. The more he allowed himself to feel and remember, the more he suffered. "Then we have to talk to her and check if she remembers-"
"Don't fucking tell me what to do!" Harry interrupted Zayn, and I knew his mind was probably a clusterfuck of emotions but he needed to calm down a little.
But Zayn's jaw clenched and the look in his eyes was nothing like I'd ever seen in him before, it reminded me of myself when I was numb.
And he caught us all off guard when he suddenly threw himself over Harry, making them both fall on the floor before his fist hit Harry's jaw very damn hard.
