Cleo Horan
"Fuck!" I cursed under my breath when I forgot once again that my right hand was injured, carelessly holding Zayn's phone a little too tightly after I hung up the call.
I tossed the phone back at him before I could actually break it and he easily caught it, keeping his eyes on me as he stayed in silence. He knew better than to speak right now, I was so fucking on edge that I wanted to scream.
Fear was something I was sadly used to by now, especially since it was the first time I had something to lose. And losing Harry was off the table, it couldn't happen and it wouldn't happen.
Loving someone this much was very complicated and consuming, but I couldn't control it. I felt this deep connection with him and we protected each other, that's what we did. We were a team.
And I had no idea where my Harry was, his eyes seemed so fucking empty that I remembered of Niall. I hated my brain for making such comparison but I honestly had no idea what was going on, Harry looked dead.
It was even more frustrating because he was breathing and blinking, his eyes were open and he just cried.
He wasn't even sobbing anymore, just silent tears.
After he told me that Gemma was his sister, he simply shut down and got lost inside his own head. I tried to get him back the way I usually would when he had an episode, but nothing worked.
He didn't show any reaction, it was like he had no idea I was there with him and it broke my heart. I didn't want him to think he was alone, his subconscious just had to know I was there for him before things got even worse.
I knew Harry had a lot of issues when it came to being left alone, it was part of his trauma. And like it or not, he was becoming more vulnerable. He'd always been so open and shameless about his emotions, only this time it wasn't a good thing.
He was caught off guard by all this, the memories just showed up out of nowhere like he'd been hit by a wave and now he couldn't swim to the surface.
I could understand just a little how he felt because it reminded me of how I felt when I found Niall's body. My brain simply chose to shut down and I became so numb, it was so fucking scary how you weren't in control of your own mind.
And Harry clearly wasn't in control now, probably going through years of traumatic memories all alone inside his mind and I couldn't help. I woke up as soon as he started crying and shaking, I always felt so fucking terrified.
I didn't mind when he woke up all of a sudden during the night because of a nightmare, and he used to be way more aggressive when that happened.
Now he was just sad... the look in his eyes was the saddest I had ever seen.
Calling Zayn was my first instinct, he knew Harry for much longer than me and he loved him, I knew I could trust him. But when not even he could help, I just had to think of something.
Zayn didn't know about Gemma or if Harry had any siblings, so this all fell back to one person: Anne.
If Harry forgot about his own fucking sister, then something very wrong happened and the only person who could help us now was the one who gave birth to him. I knew this trauma came from when Harry was little, so Anne just had to know.
I hated having to call her and listen to her voice, this was all her fucking fault. And god help me if she fucked up tonight, I wasn't in the fucking mood for her mind games.
Harry told me what they talked about when he drove to her hotel in the middle of the night, I fucking hated her. She really left him alone with Desmond and thought her actions were justified?
