The next day is Meredith's first day of chemo. She is not looking forwards to it. Derek is not looking forward to seeing her sick and in pain. He hates that she'll feel so sick and weak.
Dr Bailey comes in at 8am. She comes in wheeling a cart with medical supplies on it. "Good morning Shepherd. How was she during the night?"
"She woke up a lot during the night and said she didn't feel well. I paged a nurse and they gave her some meds. I got her back to sleep a little while after that. She woke up a few more times after that but she's been asleep now since 4am. She's going to be really tired and cranky on top of not feeling well today." Derek replied.
"Poor girl." Dr Bailey said looking over at her intern. "She doesn't deserve this at all."
"No. She doesn't. I just want her to be healthy." Derek said. "Do you need me to wake her up?"
"Yes please. I hate to wake her up when she didn't sleep well but I need to check her vitals and get her started on her first chemo session." Dr Bailey looks sadly at Meredith.
Derek nods. He gently strokes the top of Meredith's head. "Hey Mer. It's time to wake up now."
Meredith groans and moves her body so that her head is burrowing into Derek's chest.
"Meredith, I need you to wake up for me sweetie." Derek says, rubbing her back.
"I'm tired." She says softly.
"I know you are. I need to check your vitals and start your chemo and then you can go back to sleep. Does that sound okay?" Dr Bailey asks.
"I guess." Meredith mumbles. She slowly opens her eyes and turns towards Dr Bailey.
"Morning sleepyhead." Derek says softly and kisses the top of her head.
"Hi." She says sleepily.
"I'm going to check your vitals now." Dr Bailey listens to Meredith's heart and lungs and then has her sit up so she can put her stethoscope on her back to listen also.
After she finishes checking Meredith's vitals she moves the medical cart closer to Meredith's bed. "Meredith, I'm going to start your first chemo dose. This will take four hours. I know you know the side effects but I'm going to tell you them anyways. Fatigue, hair loss, nausea and vomiting, anemia, infections and more. But we will take good care of you so you don't need to be scared."
"When can I go home?" Meredith asks. "I just want to go home and be done with all of this."
"I know you want to go home. I know all of this is so scary and hard for you to deal with. I want o see how you react to the chemo so I'm having you stay in the hospital tonight and if you react well I will discharge you tomorrow. Because you live with doctors I'm not as hesitant to discharge you. But if you get an infection or anything I need you to come back."
Meredith nods.
"Do you think that's safe? What if something happens?" Derek asks nervously.
"If something happens then you just bring her back here. But I trust she will be well taken care of at home." Bailey says. "Bring her back if she gets a fever over 100 degrees, any bleeding, trouble breathing, you know the drill Derek."
Derek nods.
"Okay. Meredith I'm going to hook this chemo dose up to your port now." Dr Bailey hooks the chemo bag up to her port and the first chemo dose starts dripping into her system.
"Okay Meredith. You can go back to sleep now if you want." Dr Bailey tells her.
She nods and closes her eyes and immediately falls back to sleep.
"Page me if you guys need anything or she's not reacting well to the chemo." Dr Bailey says.
"I will. Thank you Dr Bailey." Derek says.
"You're welcome. I hope this works." Dr Bailey says and leaves the room.
——————————-
Meredith wakes up 2 hours later. "Hi Der."
"Hey Mer. How are you feeling?"
"I'm fine. Can we go for a walk?" She asks.
"You sure you're up for it?" He asks.
She nods. "I want to get out of this room."
"Okay, let me go get a wheelchair. I'll be right back." He leaves to get a wheelchair and comes back a few minutes later.
He helps her into the wheelchair and pushes her down the hallway. Meredith sees everyone looking at her and she looks down at her hands. Derek notices and attempts to reassure her. "Hey, you're okay. They're not used to seeing you as a patient that's all."
"Yeah." She whispers.
Derek continues to push her down the hallway.
A few minutes later Meredith starts to gag. "D-Der."
Derek realizes what's going on and quickly grabs a bucket that's on a shelf next to them. He puts it in front of her and she promptly throws up into it. Derek holds her hair back.
"I-I don't feel good." She whispers.
Derek sees the chemo is starting to affect her. He rubs her shoulder to try to comfort her. "Let's get you back to your room."
Meredith continues to get sick and he stops along the way back to her room to help her and hold her hair back.
When they get back to her room he helps her into her bed.
"D-Derek I hate this. I don't want cancer." She says softly.
"I wish you didn't have cancer either." He says softly. He holds her in his arms and she falls asleep in them.
I hope you liked! Let me know if you have any ideas!
