Sinking Ships | L.S |

3.4

F E B R U A R Y 24TH

I ran my hands through my hair as I collapsed onto my bed. I was exhausted after my day at school, though I hardly paid attention to anything at all. My Spanish test was definitely going to receive failing marks due to my lack of effort into it. I couldn't help it though, all of my thoughts were consumed of Louis. I couldn't stop thinking of that cursed dream I had. Ever since I woke up earlier this morning with wet boxers and sheets to match, I couldn't think of Louis in the same way.

Blaming Evan for this would be so easy. He was the one who messaged me about that girl he likes, which only started after he had a dream of her in a steamy situation. But I know that I can't blame him for the things I dream of. I just wish I never had that dream because now I'm feeling things that I shouldn't. I've never had crushes on anyone due to the fact that I don't find people attractive. But Jesus Christ, Louis was different. He was just so.... I don't know. He changed every thought I've ever had in the past twelve hours and that was just because of a dream.

This feelings should be a surprise to me, though they really aren't. Before I had the dream I did admit to myself that I found Louis attractive. Just seeing him shirtless reinforced that thought. Then there is my dream and just the thought of actually doing that in real life was enough to give me a hard on. I couldn't deny these feelings, yet I wanted to.

I never thought of myself as gay, or even bisexual. If anything I thought that I was asexual because of my lack of attractiveness to people, or something like that. I've never been good with names of sexualities. All I know is that I'm confused. I thought that I was straight. I guess I always thought I couldn't be any different because of my parents. They had a specific goal for me to achieve and being gay isn't one of them. I had to be the perfect son, I had to take the role that Peter once had.

Sighing, I rubbed my tired eyes. I wasn't sure what to do. I guess I could always just roll with it. I can just keep talking with Louis and see where is goes. This confusion probably won't last long, it'll pass. I sat up when I heard my phone vibrate in my pocket. After pulling out the device, a smile appeared on my face when I saw that it was a message from Louis.

SexyLouis: I found an old sandwich underneath my bed

I couldn't help but laugh loudly. Everything that Louis did I found funny. Did that mean that I liked him? God, I'm such a mess. I've never had a crush before, is this even what it was. Do I fancy Louis? In some ways I do. I like his smile, his eyes, his personality. I like the fact that he likes me for me, not my parents wealth or social status like some of the people in my school do. I like that he my friend. My smile faltered at that though. Friend. I thought he was my best friend, in ways he was. But now that I've been seeing him differently, in a more romantically way I guess, where would that leave us? I know that he wouldn't look at me like that so looking at him in a relationship way was a waste of time. My thoughts began to jumble up and I sighed again before looking down at the message.

Harry: That's disgusting.

SexyLouis: Yeah I know. I threw it out. It was all moldy and everything.

Harry: Ew you're going to make me puke shut up

SexyLouis: Haha sorry. So how was your day at school?

Harry: Eh, sucky. I think I failed my spanish text

SexyLouis: Aw why?

Harry: Forgot to study. Anyway, what's up with you? We haven't talked in so long.

SexyLouis: We Skyped last night

Harry: Lol yeah I know. I was kiDDING

SexyLouis: WHAT THE FUCK DID I TELL YOU ABOUT WRITING IN CAPS FOR HALF A WORD?

Harry: YOU TOLD ME NOT TO DO IT

SexyLouis: So then why are you?

Harry: Because pissing you off is exciting

SexyLouis: You're gonna get in trouble

Harry: Hmm like that bondage stuff you were talking about?

SexyLouis: I WAS ON A SUGAR RUSH WHEN I SAID THAT I SWEAR I AM NOT 50 SHADES OF FUCKED UP

Harry: I'll make you 50 shades of fucked up

SexyLouis: Harry that didn't even make sense

Harry: It got you to say my name though

SexyLouis: I'm not sure how to respond to that

Harry: Do I render you speechless?

SexyLouis: Yes, especially when I've got your dick in my mouth

Harry: Yeah, you wouldn't be able to talk if I was in your mouth

SexyLouis: You think pretty highly of yourself

Harry: Yup. I understand why you don't though, I mean after all, you have a tic tac

SexyLouis: Dear God not again

Harry: I changed your contact

TicTac: What is it?

Harry: I'm not telling

TicTac: Harry I swear to God if you don't tell me I will cut off your balls and feed them to you

Harry: kinky

TicTac: THAT IS NOT KINKY NOW TELL ME WHAT MY CONTACT NAME IS

Harry: TicTac

TicTac: Are you kidding me? That's my contact name?

Harry: Yup

TicTac: I hate you

- - - - - -

I hope you liked the chapter. I know it's a little short BUT Harry's thoughts of the dream lol

- Mandi -

>>>Gif on the side is of Louis when he learned his contact name and gosh it's hot af, especially because he looks so young