Sinking Ships | L.S |

2.7

-  It's gonna be another short chapter, sorry  -

J A N U A R Y  21ST

I’m worried about Louis.

I haven't spoken to him since the nineteenth and I'm worried about his health. What if something happened with him and Darren. I don't know what Darren looks like or how strong the guy is, so what if he can easily take on Louis? Louis also seems like he's suffering from depression or something, which makes me even more worried. Could he have killed himself or something? I don't know if Louis would do that, let alone think it. It's crazy how much I worry over him.

I just couldn't stop thinking of Louis. I really hope that he's okay. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something bad happened to him. I know it wouldn't technically be my fault, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't blame myself for it. I've texted him a few more times since yesterday but he hasn't answered. He's got to be at least seeing them, right? I mean, he's gotten an iPod and a laptop to do things. Unless he lost them, or Darren got a hold of them. Would Darren break things that belong to Louis? I don't even know the answer to that.

The sound of Olivia laughing brought me out of my thoughts and into reality. We were having a movie night at my place. She came over for dinner - my parents loved the idea - and now we were watching a movie. I didn't pay attention to the movie really, my thoughts were consumed of Louis. I couldn't focus on anything but him. I didn't even realize that Olivia had taken a hold of my hand some point during this time.

You know, it's strange. I feel guilty for this. I feel guilty for hanging out with Olivia when I could be talking to Louis - if he answered. I feel guilty for even being in the same room with Olivia. I feel almost as if I'm cheating on Louis.

It's probably the most stupidest thing in the entire world though. I shouldn't feel guilty for hanging out with my 'girlfriend'. She's more of a beard I guess, in some sort of ways. I just don't want to disappoint my parents. Anyway, I hate the feeling of guilt I have right now. I shouldn't feel guilty for this.

I'm not with Louis. We aren't a couple, we are just friends. Hell, I'm not even gay. I don't find guys attractive… do I? I've always said that I'm not attracted to people. But maybe it's just girls that I'm not attracted to? Ugh, this is all so confusing. All I know is that I feel like I'm cheating on Louis.

My phone vibrated in my pocket and I grew nervous. What if that was Louis? What if it was someone else? I swallowed the lump in my throat and pulled out of my phone, looking at the screen. My nervousness only grew worse when I saw that I had a notification from Writers101. It could be Louis but it could also be Evan, although I don't talk to him that much these days. He's been busy and so have I… with Louis.

I slide my finger across the screen and typed in my four digit passcode. I went into the app and into my messages, seeing that it was in fact Louis who messaged me. I pressed the screen and it took me to our conversations. My eyes skimmed over the message.

Lou95: Hey, sorry for being so MIA. I've been really busy

I didn't buy what he said, in fact, I knew that it was a lie. Busy with what? Louis doesn't have a job and he's not in school. I know he has been avoiding me and yes, that hurts like a bitch, but I'm just so glad that he's talked to me again. Just as I was about to reply to his message the credits on the telly started to roll and Olivia sat up.

"That was such a good movie, Adam Sandler is hilarious." She smiled. She's such a nice girl but she's just not… for me. It's hard to explain.

"Yeah, he is." I said, not knowing what else to say.

"Well," Olivia said, "It's getting late. I should probably start heading out. Thanks for inviting me over Harry, I had an amazing time." She said.

"Thank you for coming." I said.

She leaned in and gave me a quick kiss, causing me to fill up with guilt. I should tell Louis about her. But then again, why would it matter? Olivia pulled away from the kiss and smiled again before standing up. I stood up and walked her out, knowing that if I didn't I would get an earful from my father.

I opened the door for her, my phone feeling like it's rocks in my pocket. I need to message Louis back. Olivia gave me another kiss before she left, saying that she's see me in school tomorrow. Ugh, I don't want to go to school tomorrow. Well, at least it's Thursday tomorrow.

When I closed the door behind her I smiled and turned back to my phone, ready to type my message back.

-  -  -  -  -  -  -  -

Poor Olivia…

-  Mandi  -                                          

>>>Gif on the side is of Harry at the end of the chapter