Sinking Ships | L.S |

2.5

J A N U A R Y  19TH

L O U I S'  P. O. V.

 

"I'm sorry Mr. Tomlinson, but we really don't have any positions to fill." The voice came from the other side of the phone. I sighed, shaking my head.

"Alright, that's for the consideration I guess. Goodbye." I said, hanging up the house phone.

I closed my eyes, leaning against my headboard. This was ridiculous. All I wanted to do was get a job. I just wanted to be able to get a job and save up some money. I want to be able to move out of this house and get my own apartment. I actually wanted to make friends and live a life. But no. This Goddamn town hates me and my parents and I'll never be able to do anything about it.

I don't deserve this. I'm a good person. I've never stolen anything - okay maybe once, but I was three - and I've never broken the law. Sure I've littered my body in tattoos and I've smoked the occasional joint, but I've never done anything that bad. I just got stuck with crappy parents. I snorted, shaking my head.

They are not my parents. My mom may have carried me for nine months but she's never been my mom. Not even when my dad was alive. He was the only one that cared about me. No one else bothered to love me. Sometimes I wonder if I even love myself. I'm not smart, I'm not attractive, I don't even have a job. I don't even know what I am.

The sound of someone falling onto the floor pulled me from my thoughts and I climbed off my bed, leaving my room quickly. It was about five o'clock in the afternoon and I knew that Darren was most likely home. Being that I don't smell anything cooking, I don't think that my mom made anything. Darren's probably high which could only mean one thing.

"Really? All I ask is that dinner is ready when I get home and you can't even get that straight." Darren said, his deep voice even deeper due to the marijuana. My eyes burned a little bit as I walked into the kitchen. My mom sat on the floor, tears on her face. She may not be my mother but I still love her and I don't want to see her get hit.

"Louis, get out of here." My mom said.

"Mo-" I tried, but was easily interrupted.  

"Louis!"

I stared at her for a few seconds before shaking my head and leaving the room. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to call the cops but she'd never forgive me. Besides, she's got enough drugs in her system that she'd get locked up too. I couldn't do that to her. She's not my mom, but I do love her. I hate it though.

As soon as I got into my room I closed and locked the door, sitting on my bed soon after. Lying back, I let out a sigh and let my thoughts wander to the one person that was the only light in my dark life. Harry.

Oh, Harry. It scares me how much I like him. His smile, his eyes. Everything about him I like. I can't wait until we get to Skype or FaceTime. I'll finally be able to hear his voice and his laugh. I cannot wait. I'm feeling giddy just thinking about it. I really can't wait. I'll be able to actually talk to him. It won't be over text messages or anything like that. It will be me talking to him. Actually talking to him.

It's funny. I never thought of myself as gay. Hell, I still don't really find guys attractive. But with Harry it's completely different. With Harry I feel things I never have. I get nervous just thinking about messaging Harry. I loved every second of it. I loved thinking of him.

I kept picturing him in little scenarios. Date nights would be so much fun with him. We would both get all dressed up and go out to dinner. We'd get something that we both love and have so much fun doing it. I would hold his hand across the table and we'd give each other pecks on the cheeks.