Shattered Vows

September 15th

dedicated to @hot-girlshit for being the first to vote and comment last chapter ❤

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this is sort of a part one to this chapter

September Fifteenth:

"Obviously I love him. He's my son, Mary."

His father's hasty voice is the first thing he wakes up to. His eyes, still delirious from the few hours of sleep he managed to get after his extended practice, Nico crabs into his pillow. His entire body aches from the hours spent running drills as he rolls over on his bed, staring harshly at the ceiling. The sky outside grows dark as night replaces day, shadows of the objects in his room dancing across the wall farthest from him.

"Then why don't you ever go visit him?" His mother reacts, her voice wavering as if she is on the cusp of tears. Nico pauses, listening. They seldom ever talked about his brother anymore, as if he lives forgotten. It is a topic garbled by a great deal of sorrow and rage.

"Because, Mary, it's hard for me to look at him. That's not my Ty, not anymore." His father's reply is met with a silence of sudden shock.

Nico sits up in his bed, hearing the front door slam shut and his father's car engine roar to life. It roused him with anger, his father's apathy to his brother's state of being. How anyone could be fueled with so much apprehension towards their own blood that they forget their ever existence was beyond him.

He listens, waiting to hear his father come back through the door. Waiting foolishly for his father to apologize to his weeping mother. Instead, all he hears is the squeals of tires as his father drives off carelessly into the night. Forgetting behind his shattered family for whatever it is he finds more desirable.

Just laying in his bed for hours, he listens to the sound of upstairs. Hearing the soft pattern of his mother's footsteps as she makes herself dinner and eats it alone in front of the television. Not bothering to offer Nico any, unaware that he was even home. He listens as she sobs softly to herself, alone in a house so large and consuming. He hears, unable to bring himself to go upstairs and comfort her because deep down, he knew he was the source of all their pain.

He knows his mother is drowning in a state of depression. She no longer beams the way the framed photos on the walls have her smiling. The spark has left her eyes, dwindled away by the pain of losing a child and a family. It is a tiredness that consumes her, yet, she pushes herself to be better for Nico.

He longs to tell her that he sees her trying. But he finds himself stuck in the basement, stuck in his cycle of self-loathing.

Opening up his bedroom window wide enough he can slip through, the bitter night air assails him. Dressed in loose sweatpants and a thin t-shirt, his body shivers in the cold. He doesn't bother grabbing a sweatshirt as he pushes his window closed, enjoying the numb feeling that washes over him. Shoving his headphones into his ears, he drowns out the world around him with the steadiness of his playlist.

He chooses to walk in no particular direction but forward.

The night sky is alive with raw vibrancy, friendly to a world devoid of love. The bright autumn sky peeled back to unveil the universe of stars sprinkled over a black marble canvas. The wind chill is so cold it reaches to his bones, his warm breath swirling in front of his face.

Out of habit, his feet carry him to the part of town alive at this hour. The LED open sign is bright and flashing, calling to him. The light from inside the bar illuminates the dark street through the open windows and doors. It creates a dark ambiance over the dirty alleyway. Nico doesn't hesitate to push himself inside.