A court of shadow and spying (Azriel X OC)

The Darkness

Hello little bird. It's about time you sing for me again.

I had long since lost track of where we were going and where we were, partly perhaps because my head was reeling and I was trying not to succumb to the pain that had already been inflicted on me. I knew it wasn't going to be easy with Keir, but I would rather die than betray my friends. So, I tried exactly what I had done before. I built my inner mental wall that would keep Azriel from knowing that I was in pain, that I was being beaten and dragged behind, and that by any methods soon I would try to get this information we had stolen out of me. I wasn't very keen on it, but at least we hadn't reached that point yet where I would suffer. So, still quite myself, I built a wall that would keep Azriel from looking into me, from feeling what I was doing, because as long as he and Velaris were safe, I didn't mind if they didn't find me. Of course, there was this little hope smouldering inside of my body that they would actually come and find me, but I had no idea where I was as we were walking through these catacombs for the first time and the fact that my face was already swollen from the beating didn't really help that cause. I tried to keep up as much as possible, but after each new bend, each new curve, I lost myself in my thoughts, preparing myself not to break and to try to withstand everything that awaited me. I didn't want to be weak, but I also didn't know how long I could withstand torture. And this time there was no one left, not even my saviour, who could help me escape. Even if I had wanted to, I probably couldn't do much against these men, 9 men in all. They were superior to me and unfortunately, I wasn't the only one who knew that. Keir had left me alone, which seemed strange to me, but not unusual. I'm sure he was thinking of all the disgusting ways he could get me to talk. And he would be happy to try them on me. I hardly believed he would lose the fun of torturing me, I was sure he would love it when I sang for him again. That's what he called it by now, like it was something, a secret between us, a little joke only he could enjoy. I knew Keir wouldn't leave me alone and I tried to think of anything but what was coming. I would probably lose my mind already if I guessed what he would do to me and so I decided to observe the surroundings, maybe pass on some small piece of information to Azriel that would help him find me, but I found nothing useful, nothing that would have mattered, because we stayed in the catacombs and Azriel had also said that he hadn't acted down here for years, so I judged my chances to be rather poor. At least he could follow the footprints, which no one seemed to be paying attention to, but a few of the men had already separated from us, which probably meant a dead end here as well. I didn't want to fall into despair, but when we emerged from the catacombs afterwards and stood in front of the house I had broken into back then, I had to swallow. It was Ashbury's house we were standing in front of, but I soon realised that we were not entering, just waiting for him. I tried to lower my head, to make myself small, and hoped fervently Ashbury wouldn't recognise me. At least no one seemed to have picked up on the information we had stolen from his house. Fools all, they still underestimated the women of the Hewn City. So, when he finally came out, his scar white across his face and his stature as fearsome as ever, I just prayed he wouldn't see me. I knew what he was like, knew what he did and what he was capable of and if he too was going to do some of the torture, then I wanted to be almost dead before he began his real work. My thoughts grew darker as he moved towards us and I just wanted to get away, wanted to run, to free but also curse myself for how stupid it had been not to leave with Azriel, but otherwise something would have happened to him or he might never have got the chance to save our home and our friends.

But the more I observed the men in front of me, the more uncomfortable I felt. I was certainly not helpless, but I had very little I could do against these men and that frightened me. How would I be able to escape from all this?

It was a question I didn't dare answer, because doubts gnawed at it. What if I didn't escape, what if this was the end for me? Then at least I would have done the right thing, although Azriel would probably never forgive himself for that, it would have been the right thing. And it brought me a kind of pride, having preserved the fate of Velaris. Hopefully. Despite that, I wanted nothing more right now than to see a familiar face, one that would reassure me, someone who came to protect me. But that would not work here. I tried to concentrate on the conversation between Keir and Ashbury, but it stopped as abruptly as it started, and when I took a quick look, I saw Ashbury disappear with three of the men. We had known that Ashbury could winnow, but the fact that he could take other people with him had always been an uncertain variable. When he came back, he was alone and came towards us again, to take me with him afterwards, too, to God knows where. But if he took me now, if he disappeared with me now, I would never be able to be free of these men again. i didn't know where they would take me, it could still be in Hewn City, or it could be in another Court. Would Ashbury be willing to take me away from Prythian altogether? I resisted the grip of the two men who held me under their arms right and left, trying like a stubborn child to make something happen.