A court of shadow and spying (Azriel X OC)

be ready

The next few days were similar, but I became more and more nervous because the mission came nearer. I had been reassured that Azriel's spies would be there and that I had no danger to fear, but every day I felt more and more uncomfortable.
I already had everything I needed for the mission, knew what I had to do and was thoroughly prepared for any situation. Rhysand and Cassian kept asking me about the plan, the procedure and my escape options. It was like I was constantly being quizzed on an exam. I knew everything by heart, was aware of every detail and yet...
The situation was tense. I gradually realized what kind of situation I had put myself in. Maybe, thought one part of my brain, you can still get out.
But I couldn't, because everything was already prepared and ready.
As the evening approached, however, my thoughts became quiet and still. The calm before the storm, but it didn't bother me. I had always been good at shutting off my thoughts and emotions, and right now it seemed more than necessary.
I became calm, everything in me seemed to turn off. I hardly noticed that I threw myself into the white fabric of lingerie, or that I then put on the white satin coat, which was covered with fake fur around my neck. My white high heels laced together around my calf and made my stride thus safer. I had decided afterwards also to put on a blond wig. It was cut short, that hair fell only to my shoulders, but emphasized my sharp facial features, which I had made up. I had curled it slightly and so the curls curled around my face. Red lipstick adorned my full lips and my eyes stood out with the dark tan. I had to admit that I looked good. As I looked at myself in the mirror, I knew I would stand out tonight.
 The white gave me a look of innocence, like I was a schoolgirl and didn't understand life yet. As if I were someone from whom such innocence had not already been taken. But when I looked into my eyes, I knew that they embodied something else. For they had already seen too much, they had witnessed all the cruel acts, had perceived how others behaved and treated me, had destroyed the innocence with which I came to the Hewn City.
But that would probably not matter much today. Hardly anyone in the Hewn City, especially in the Jackell - Bar would pay attention to the expression in my eyes. They would stare at my body, at the places that didn't leave much for the imagination. I sighed and silently went over the plan again as I fixed my hair once more.
Morrigan would take me there and then disappear. Everyone would recognize her for miles around. One of Azriel's spies would then lead me to the bar and take me to the secluded area backstage where I could continue getting ready. But there wouldn't actually be much time to change anything. Because after that, it was showtime.
For me and for the men who would be watching. Here and there I would recognize familiar faces, whether because they were my helpers or because they were former customers. But that's what I had the wig for. At that time, I had or rather could hardly allow one of my customers to look at me too long and closely. I forbade it to them. It was one of the privileges I had had when I had started the job. Don't get too close to the face, don't look too closely, just use and abuse. For your own purposes. But that way I could keep my identity a little more hidden, because no one was looking too closely. And that had only been a good thing, as it now turned out.
 
So, I would go on stage and dance. I had done that once before, but I had quickly noticed that I hated all this attention like the plague. But today I would probably have to turn it off, as I had done back then.
I had then always brought out my other side. I had never been proud of it, but it had often made me do things that I would hardly have done otherwise. Like standing in front of a pack of hungry men and dancing for them, or becoming a prostitute and selling myself for my body. But that's how this other side was now. She would have done anything just to keep me coming over the top. It was the times when I just shut everything down and just accepted what my body was doing and making. And it blanked out everything else. Another trait that would probably get me a lot of things today.
Unfortunately.
So afterwards, when I was done dancing, done exposing and showing off my body, I would go to the back, calm my nerves, and then sit on the laps of old men like a fine, well-behaved toddler, waiting for Ashbury to finally come and lay claim to me. And no one would even stand in his way, for he was Ashbury Jack, already three years into Keir's inner circle, known for brutality and murder. And so the evening would go on, until he decided to take me home with him, or to one of his pleasure apartments. And before that, I would have to inject him with the serum. And when that was done, my way to the information would be clear. And then I would return to the agreed meeting place, where Cassian and Azriel would be waiting for me.
In theory it seemed so simple, and yet we all knew that my life could be at stake if anyone so much as took a wrong step toward Ashbury.
I couldn't elaborate further on my thoughts, however, because there was a knock and Morrigan poked her head through the crack in the door. Her eyes grew wide for a moment and her mouth fell open a crack before she came into the room grinning and composed herself.
'So, if he doesn't take notice of you, I don't understand his taste in women', she said in a light tone, but there was concern and anger in her eyes. She didn't like this plan any more than I did, but she tried to sound carefree and confident for my sake. I was grateful to her for that.
'We should go', she finally said, as she looked me up and down once more. Her eyes were nevertheless filled me something new, it looked like she was curious now, but I didn't know why. I would have to ask her about it later. I nodded to her and followed her out of my room into the hallway. My satin coat billowed out behind me, revealing my trained legs as I descended the stairs. The faux fur tickled my neck and throat, it was like a fluffy scarf wrapped around my neck.
My new blonde short hair fell slightly in my eyes, but that shouldn't bother me. I entered the anteroom and saw that everyone was already waiting for us there.
So, no turning back, I thought, and already prepared myself for the fact that everything was about to start. And yet I couldn't help but feel uncomfortable when I felt all the stares on me. They were from people I considered new friends, but that didn't mean I wanted them to look at me so intensely and with full admiration or concern for what was to come.
But I just considered all of them with sharp glances before holding out my hand to Morrigan. I was ready and we had better do it now before I changed my mind. I looked forward to this whole thing with grim satisfaction, because maybe I could finally give Keir back all that he had done to me.
No further parting words were needed. Or I just didn't want to hear any. Everyone just looked at me. And I knew that they all wished me luck for what was to come for all of us. For this mission, and I realized it only now, was worth so much more, was of such impressive magnitude, that we all hoped nothing would go wrong. For the future of the Night Court was at stake, and I would have been a fool if I had said that everything I would do from now on did not depend on whether we could keep the peace, or whether there was a new war within the Night Court.

'So then', I said, and gave a nod to my High Lord before Morrigan disappeared into the shadows with me.

On the way to the Hewn City.
To the Jackell - Bar. Where I would now officially carry out my first mission.

And now, only now the feeling of fear began to spread in my stomach.

Now then, to damnation and back.