Finally Free Again

12

Warnings:
-Purging (self-induced vomiting)
-Forced feeding (being tied)
-Numbers (weight)
-Overexercising

Clay's POV

I woke back up when it was seven in the morning and I immediately stood up to walk around again. I only pulled on my sweats since I wanted to exercise but I needed to stay as cold as I could.

I started running around as a very overwhelmingly weak feeling numbed me. I abruptly stood still and stared at my monitor, seeing a dangerously low blood pressure. I felt my heart go faster as I started shaking and then fell down on the floor.

George shot up in his bed and jumped up immediately as I laid on the floor while my whole body got incredibly sweaty. George started yelling for help and knelt down next to me, softly hitting my face so I'd stay awake.

He looked at my monitor and screamed for help again, trying to lift me up. I was really dizzy and curled up as George ran to the door. 'HELP!'

He ran back to me and grabbed my hand tightly. 'Clay, your blood pressure is extremely low.'

I looked at the monitor to see it was 70/45 which was dangerously low. I saw my heartbeat was lower than forty again and I grasped onto George since I got scared. The door opened and a few nurses ran into the room.

I got lifted back onto my bed and closed my eyes as they immediately inserted an IV in my hand again. Someone wrapped me into multiple blankets and they gave me something through my IV.

'Clay, we are going to feed you and we are giving you calming medication. If you don't listen to us, we will have to tie you to the bed again.'

'No!' I yelled out, rolling away. 'I don't want food! I'm fat.'

'Before feeding you, we'd like to weigh you,' the nurse said. Someone got a scale and they let me stand on it. I looked down at the 101 pounds, I smiled since I lost weight again and they carried me back to my bed.

'I need to lose more,' I mumbled as I laid down. 'Let me walk, please.'

'Clay, you lost three pounds again, you're not going to move.'

'I need to lose more weight,' I sighed. 'I'm going to walk.'

I pushed them away and was about to stand up as they seemed sick of it. 'You're going back to that room and we will feed you until we think it's enough.'

'NO!' I screamed. 'I CAN'T BE FED, I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT! LET GO OF ME.'

They lifted me up and I tried to escape but they were way stronger than I was. I started hitting around me and pushed the nurse away. She only held me tighter and I turned around to George, reaching my hand out to him as they carried me away.

He looked at me with tears in his eyes and formed a heart with his hands. That was the last thing I saw before the door was closed behind me.

They carried me to the same room as last time and wrapped a lot of blankets around me as they tied me to my bed. I couldn't move at all and they attached my tube to a machine, turning it on.

I started screaming as loudly as I could. I screamed so loudly that my voice cracked and got so hoarse that I couldn't scream anymore. I tried to escape and tightened my stomach muscles so badly that I gagged because I tried to get the tube feeding away from my stomach.

I couldn't do anything and began to cry very loudly while trying to free myself. The nurse was just looking at me and did something on the machine which caused the tube feeding to go in even faster.

'STOOOOOP!' I screamed. 'PLEASE, THIS IS TORTURE, TURN IT OFF! PLEASE!'

'Shouldn't have lost weight in the first place,' the nurse scoffed.

I looked at her and felt a tear roll down my face. 'Why don't you even try to understand my pain? I'm terrified of eating and you're tying me to a bed, forcing food in my stomach.'

'I don't care, you're in danger and you need to be fed.'

'I WANT TO BE GONE HERE!' I yelled out, trying to kick the back of the bed. The nurse rolled her eyes and left the room which left me completely alone while I screamed and cried.

'PLEASE! SOMEONE!' I screamed. 'SOMEONE, HELP ME!'

I cried so loudly that I started hyperventilating, but since my chest was tied too, I couldn't take deep breaths. 'H-help!' I tried to yell. My voice was gone and I felt like dying as my door opened again. I immediately sobbed and tried to look to my side.

'Help me,' I whispered, looking at a boy on crutches. He was struggling to stand up and seemed shocked.

'What's wrong?' he asked me as he slowly walked in. There stood a doctor behind him and the doctor ran in too now.

'Oh dear, who did this to you?' the doctor yelled out as he started freeing me from the bed. I sniffed loudly and sat up as the doctor turned off the monitor. 'Sweetheart, what happened?'

'The nurse tied me to my bed because I didn't want to have tube feeding,' I cried. 'She left me alone here.'

'Where is your room? The eating disorder unit?' he questioned.

'No, the room in the back of the hallway,' I whispered.

'Are you at the right unit?'

I shrugged. 'I don't have an eating disorder, but people don't understand my battle here. I try to be kind, but eating is so difficult. I'm so fat and I need to lose more weight.'

The doctor wrapped his arm around my shoulders. 'Sapnap, sit down for a little. I'm bringing this boy back to his room.'

Sapnap smiled at me and ruffled my hair up. 'Stay strong.'

I nodded slowly and leaned against the doctor as he very slowly walked to my room with me. He lifted me in my bed and I noticed that George wasn't in the room which I took as my chance.

The doctor smiled at me. 'I'm going to make sure you can move to the eating disorder unit very sure,' he comforted me. 'Very soon, okay? I need to go back to my rehabilitating patient now, but make sure to stay strong.'

⚠️ Purging (self-induced vomiting)

I nodded slowly and he left me alone in the room. I immediately took that as my chance and I ran to the bathroom. I had never done this before, but I really needed to now. I knelt down in front of the toilet and stuck my fingers in my throat.

I gagged loudly and felt my tube feeding come out again. My tube started moving too and as I kept throwing up, my tube slipped out as well. I didn't care about it at all and threw up all the tube feeding.

It wasn't enough after that. I washed my hand and flushed the toilet, trying to push the tube back by myself. Eventually, I pulled it out fully since it wasn't in my stomach anymore and I started running around again. I needed to burn anything they just forcefully fed me. Every single calorie needed to be burnt twice as much.

1231 words