Finally Free Again

10

Warnings:
-Forced feeding (being tied)

Clay's POV

I didn't get fed anymore that day since I pulled my tube out when they tried to. They decided to wait until they had my blood results and forced me to stay on my bed for the whole day. As soon as they were gone, I started walking around and I jumped into my bed when I heard them coming closer.

I was currently waiting for my blood results and my dad was sitting next to my bed. He didn't tell me where my mother was and he didn't say a single kind word to me. He still told me I was just complaining and he hated me for being mean to the doctors. I wished I could help it, but the voices were so strong that it felt hopeless.

I moved my legs heavily as a nurse walked in and she shook her head. 'Your blood counts are so bad that you'll be needing immediate tube feeding. We are first going to try it in small portions, but if this doesn't work you'll need continuous feeding which means you will get food through your tube all day.'

I shook my head heavily as more people came in to pin me to my bed again. I did anything I could to escape and managed to free one leg. I got so hopeless because they were holding me like this that I kicked the nurse as I cried and screamed.

She didn't care and pushed the tube in my nose, she was so rough that my nose felt like bleeding and I had tears rolling down my face from the pain. I gagged again as she pushed it through my throat and I shook my head heavily, looking away as I tried to get the tube out.

They didn't free me and the nurse turned on the feeding which I could see through the tube, going to my nose. I couldn't eat anything, this was so wrong.

I acted like I was calm and the people let go of me so I instantly started pulling my tube. I stood up and ran away from them to hide myself in the corner of the room and I pulled the tube out as my father and the nurse started screaming at me.

'You're a terrible kid,' the nurse scoffed as she rolled her eyes. 'I can't deal with this, alright? You're either going to listen to what I say or I'm tying you to a bed while you're getting tube fed.'

I shook my head heavily and sobbed softly as my dad shook my body heavily, pushing me against the wall.

'I hate you so much!' he yelled out. 'It's not that hard to just listen, you're always looking for attention and I'm sick of it. I'm not visiting you ever again, so goodbye Clay.'

I reached my hand out to him as tears rolled down my face.

'I don't do it on purpose,' I whispered with a hoarse and quiet voice. 'Please, can you try to understand my battle?'

'I won't even try, because I know you're doing this on purpose. You've always been a difficult kid and you seek attention everywhere you go. I'm ashamed of you and you'll just die, Clay. You know you're unhealthy because you did this yourself. Either kill yourself if you want to die so badly or stop being a dick.'

'I'm actually trying,' I mumbled. 'Please, dad. I'm actually trying so hard, but it's so difficult. The voices are so strong, my voice doesn't exist anymore. I want to fight and accept the tube feeding, but I'm too weak. I need help, I need mental support. I can't do this alone, dad.'

'You're complaining, you're just crazy.'

'Dad, I'm fighting so hard, can you please understand?' I sobbed, tears rolling down my face. 'Can I have a hug?'

He rolled his eyes and pushed me another time. 'I'm not coming back anymore. I probably won't see you anymore because in a few days you're dead anyway.'

He walked off as I sat on the floor, crying very loudly. The nurse became quiet and sighed softly as she lifted me up.

'I'm going to give you something calming and then I'll give you tube feeding.' She sounded really annoyed with me and she lifted me up to basically push me back into my bed.

I was trying so hard to give up the fight, but my body automatically tensed up when she came near me with the tube. I started yelling again and turned my head away which she didn't care about anymore. She pushed the tube into my nose even rougher than before and before I realised it, she attached it to the machine again.

I tried to pull it out but she seemed sick of it. 'You're coming with me.'

She held both my hands and took my pole with my bag of feeding and my monitor with her. I tried to fight but I couldn't as I felt the tube feeding enter my stomach. I didn't want this and I started crying again, screaming because I needed this to stop.

Eventually, she pushed me in a room and I went completely crazy. I started screaming loudly as she pinned my hands to the bed. I did anything I could to get the tube out until I noticed she put straps around my arms and legs. I got tied to the bed while I screamed and tried to fight.

I couldn't move anything anymore and had to suffer as the tube feeding went down to my stomach. I had never cried and screamed this loudly and then I started feeling very calm.

I had trouble keeping my eyes open and I couldn't fight or scream anymore. I needed to fight so I tried to tighten my abs so I would burn calories, but I was way too tired to do that.

I saw the tube feeding go down and fill my stomach more and more. I started feeling full and did anything to fight but my body was very numb. The feeding was detached after, for my feeling, hours and I got driven back to my old room.

I got carried onto my bed and looked to my side to see a boy in the room suddenly. I was too tired and fell asleep.

1062 words