Finally Free Again

7

Warnings:
-Eating disorder behaviour (starving)
-Forced hospitalisation
-Mentions needles

Clay's POV

My parents and a doctor came to my school and they made me sit in a wheelchair. I tried to fight against it but eventually my father held me very tightly so I couldn't escape. I was wrapped in multiple blankets and curled myself up in the wheelchair, being very sad because the voice in my head kept screaming at me. I needed to exercise.

I sobbed softly which caused my father to glare at me. He didn't seem to understand what was going on in my head and rolled his eyes. 'Stop whining, just sit down and shut up. You got yourself into this situation so don't cry when you need to go to the hospital.'

'But dad, I need to move,' I cried. 'I need to burn calories, please let me walk.'

'You don't even eat so what are you burning?'

'I need to lose more, please let me walk. Doctor, can I walk? Please?'

He turned around and smiled at me. 'Clay, we are going to lift you in the car and then you're going to stay in the hospital for a while, okay?'

'No, but I need to move. Can I walk to the car? Please?'

'No, you need to rest,' the doctor answered. 'It's okay to sit still, everyone sits still for hours a day.'

'No! I need to move!' I yelled, my voice cracked as I tried to get away from my dad's grasp. 'I NEED TO MOVE.'

'Hey, act normal,' my dad shouted. 'Just sit down.'

'NO! LET ME GO, I NEED TO EXERCISE! I SAT STILL FOR FIVE MINUTES!'

My dad rolled his eyes again and I reached my hand out to my mother who didn't say anything when my dad was near her. 'Mom, please?'

She shook her head with tears in her eyes and I started screaming as we arrived at the car. I got lifted inside and heavily moved my legs. I needed to move and I started crying so loudly that I had no air anymore.

I tried to open the door to escape but they locked it and I slammed my fists on the window since I had to move. I was so extremely restless and upset that I didn't stop crying while I moved my legs heavily.

After twenty minutes, we arrived at the hospital while I cried and screamed the whole ride here. I wanted to escape, but my door was still locked and my dad opened it to lift me outside.

I finally managed to get away from him and I pushed him away as I started running. Unfortunately, I was way slower and my dad caught up to me, screaming at me because of anger.

'JUST LISTEN, PIECE OF SHIT,' he screamed which caused the doctor to pull him away from me.

'Don't talk to your son like that, please. Anorexia is a very difficult mental disorder. He's not complaining or trying to upset people, his head is stronger than he's feeling right now.'

'I need to lose weight,' I sobbed as the doctor pulled me closer to hold me while I cried.

'You're underweight, Clay. You see yourself differently because of body dysmorphia. You don't see yourself the way we see you,' the doctor told me. 'You're in danger right now and we need to feed you so you won't pass away.'

I sniffed softly as he made me sit down in my wheelchair again. He wrapped me into my blanket and I kept sobbing as I squeezed the blankets. My father walked in front of me and I saw my mother walking slower. She began to walk next to my wheelchair and reached out for my hand as the doctor drove me inside.

Now I sat down without fighting, I realised how incredibly tired I was. I barely slept since I was constantly exercising and I ate nothing. I didn't eat a single thing in three weeks and it was exhausting.

I was driven inside and someone drove me to a room. I got lifted up onto a bed and they lifted high railings up next to the bed so I couldn't easily get out. After a while a nurse walked in and smiled shortly, but she didn't seem nice.

'I'm not specialised in eating disorders, but you need to wait to be moved to the eating disorder ward since there's no place for you right now. I'm going to draw some blood and then I will insert a tube.'

'A tube?' I mumbled as I hitched a breath. 'No! You're not going to do that.'

'Stop complaining!' my dad screamed at me. 'As long as you don't eat, they will have to force you, idiot.'

The nurse glanced at my dad and ignored him. She sat next to my bed and immediately grabbed my arm to draw some blood. I wasn't scared of needles so I waited for a short while and then she was done after filling a lot of tubes with my blood. She put them down for a little and grabbed stickers to stick onto the tubes.

'I will bring them to where they need to be. You're getting the results as fast as possible. Also, you're in bed rest. You can't move at all, the doors are locked so you can't throw up your tube feeding and you always have a nurse with you during feeding moments.'

'That's so unfair,' I whispered. 'You're purposely doing this to make me fat. This is a conspiracy theory and everyone is part of it, you're all here to make me fat and to let people hate me. I'm not too thin, you're all lying to me and I'm not going to listen to you either.'

She didn't answer and walked off which caused my dad to walk up to me and glare at me again. 'You're going to do everything she tells you too or I will make you, okay? You're a terrible kid and you got yourself in this situation. If you want to be dumb and starve yourself, face the consequences like a real man.'

I fought against my tears and curled myself up, trying to stand up to walk around. My father pushed me back which caused me to cry and curl up again. I didn't want to be here and I felt so alone and misunderstood. No one got how strong the voice in my head was and how badly this was killing me inside. I was completely alone.

1086 words