Prettier Than Nature // Karlnap

Thirteen, uno

Anyways this is a dnf thingy nikki wrote and nikki is holding me hostage until I post the chapter. Sorry it's been 3 months I had writers block

Also this has nothing to do with the actual story and is a joke. I did not write this. Enjoy :)

dream POV:

Sapnap just left me and George alone, he looked flustered as fuck too like did he think about getting of to a sheep or something?... He'll always stay texan by heart, my little champ.

Anyways, I can't stop staring at George's absolute dumptruck, i'm not even kidding - it's literally bigger then the cake i got for my 19th birthday. It had two stories.

I'm sitting in the middle of the bed, while I watch George getting in as well. He grabs a pillow, and puts it next to him, I don't question it because he's weird.

"Hey Dream, watch this" George says as he throws a pillow at my face, and starts laughing like a fucking opossum. So naturally, i grab his legs and let him calculate earths gravity.

Now I'm the one wheezing, lord have mercy on my gay ass because im about five seconds away from suffocating. I look at George with tears bursting out of my gReeN OrBs "Stop trying to get a medic in here and help me up you whore." He says. The audacity, like excuse you, i know your mother.

Of course i don't help him up, instead i force him into playing an intense game of UNO with me.

I feel eyes staring into my literal soul as I sort out the cards "Bitch, do you wanna go  because i WILL throw these hands" I say emphasising the 'will' so George knows i'm the sexy alpha male here. He doesn't say anything and just keeps staring at me and picks up his cards without muttering a word, i think he's scared.

"Didn't you like eat dog shit." 

I stare in disbelieve, the love of my life how could he... I drop my perfectly organised cards, i see Germany invading Poland in WW2, my head gets dizzy, everything happens in slow motion, I forget my fathers last name.  But then i remember...it wasn't dog shit, it was CAT shit! Everything comes back to normal. I raise my hot af voice and speak "George, i swear to god, if you bring that up one more time."

"Whatever, Sapnaps sleeping so shut up"
George says in a petty as tone, and lays down the first card, 7 green. The cards find their way back into my hands and i place my card, a green UNO-reverse. I get to go again since we're only two players. I'm a fucking genius. I place a green +2.

I giggle to myself because I'm holding  a blue 6 and green 9 next to each other. "what are you giggling at, dumbass" George says, how dare he. "Shut up" i growl in a 'son, we know that's porn on your ipad.'  type of voice.

George looks at me like he's about to beat the shit out of me but then he looks back down and smirks. "Are you going to seduce me or something?" I ask him and he just shrugs and places a skip-card. Smiling he places down literally five fucking cards, all either skip- or reverse-cards. How the fuck did he even know what colour they were.

Already given up on life, I look at him, then the cards, and back at him, with him still having that stupid grin on his face, I stand up without saying anything. I keep my eyes on him as I walk to the window.
George just laughs at my pain, and definitely not at the fact that I tripped over like eight different pieces of furniture.

I turn around to face the window, I look up and say "God, you're already sending me to hell, there's no need to hate me even more." Of course George just laughs even more, and to think that i thought he loved me..

"Get your fine ass back here" George says and pats down a space next to him on the bed. "You only want my ass.." he nods, i frown, wtf.

I karate-kick the cards out of his hands, "holy shit, i could become a ninja" I smile, happy to have finally found a purpose on this godforsaken world. 

George looks happy for me, weird. " Omg you could!!!" he says in a way a kindergarden teacher would praise someone for not shitting their pants.

"Why are you like this?" I question him. He doesn't say anything. I put my hand on my hip, flick my hand, and ask again, "Why are you like this, babe?" George looks at me like just crawled out a sewer and have dead mutant rats covering me. Well shit.

I put both my head my hands downs in shame, and play with the hem of my shirt.
"Sorr-" "I should've left you in your own piss that one night" I was about to apologise but damn was that rude. 

Ignoring whatever the fuck that humiliation just was, I get in bed next to him. I'm uncomfortable ,so using my new found skills, I ninja flip us into a more comfortable position(: doggy style. lmao i'm so funny) .

Because of my faster then lightning moves, George screams like a literal Umpalumpa. I forgot that Sapnap is sleeping like down the hall, and scream back "THERES NO CHILDREN IN THE CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN UMPALUMPA, THE WATER IS CLEAR!"

The door opens and all we hear is "dude, can you shut the fuck up" oops.

The comedic genius I am, I look behind us and say "shhhh. you are hallucinating go back to sleep" And he actually falls for it, dumb idiot, it's the Texas education i'm telling you.

George is already sleeping, my screams are lullabies to him.. how sweet. Because I have nothing to do and my phone is somewhere outside - because of previous misconceptions - I decide to close my eyes and fall asleep as well.

Anyways have a great rest of your day, I will update this story for real soon I promise.

:)

-written by my good friend Nokia (Nikki)