Prettier Than Nature // Karlnap

nine, useless act

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Sapnap POV:

I was oddly quiet today, nothing made me overly excited or talkative. My head was stuck in a continuous loop.

Do I have a preference for guys?

I have no idea anymore, no clue of what is going on behind that skull of mine. I like girls, yeah I do, they are pretty. It's more the fact that I'm more confused if I have preference or not, my current problem is exact.

I stepped into the big school grounds and sat down on a bench, I noticed how all the different friend groups immediately walked beside each other and it came off so natural.

There's even people here I've never seen before.

Dream, George, Puffy, Aaron and Wilbur were already grouping but I don't walk up to them as I normally do, I don't wanna talk to them right now. I wanna be by myself.

Maybe loners aren't that bad, I can kinda understand where they come from, being alone is relaxing and I don't necessarily have to be scared of the words that spill out my mouth.

I look around.

A ginger caught my eye. I was scared, but got the courage to actually look at him. He had sweatpants on and a simple white shirt. He had glasses that rested in his hair. Light freckles covered his cheeks.

But there's one thing I know about Jason and that is he's a total asshole. Even more of an asshole than Aaron himself, who is my friend. Jason always makes random negative comments about girls looks.

He wasn't nice at all. Not my type either. I didn't like that he was bigger than me, I don't mind height. But he's stronger than me, he wasn't one I could call cute because he absolutely wasn't even close to that.

I'm not interested in him.

Maybe this was a lost cause? No, it's not. Stop.

I have to move on from Willow and find someone new. There was another thing I knew about her and that was she was an amazing manipulator, I am as well.

I'm able to manipulate easily and my parents as well. I try my hardest to not use manipulation to my advantage, sometimes it's just hard to not.

My mind went blank and forgot everything I just thought about. It just disappeared like my dad did after my sister got married. He never talked to me unless it was about money.

Gladly my parents are divorced, I don't think I could live in the presence of their fights any longer than I did a couple years ago, happy to see my mom happy.

I sat there. For minutes, just thinking about myself totally forgetting the main reason I wasn't with my friends. Stupidly enough I got to caught up in family drama that I stopped working.

Tears, only small tears, I promise. Was let out of my eyes. They were frankly uncomfortable and they scared me, if anybody noticed the whole school would know and I would be so screwed.

"You can have this" I hear a voice tell me, I flick to the side quickly and see a familiar boy sat next to me on the wooden bench. He had a gentle smile and held out a small tissue for me.

He was nice.

"T-thank you" I muttered almost surprised somebody would do that to me without making fun. He seemed genuine but at the same time I can't forget how I felt when I looked at him for the first time. He was annoying.

That feeling may fade just a tiny bit when he's this sincere. When he's this sweet, when he cares. I hadn't spoken to him for around 2 weeks now. He's still a stranger and I have no idea what he likes to do.

"Not feeling the best today?" He asked, he smiled at me, I could feel something hidden behind his pretty and innocent grimace. "Why do you care" I half whisper and cry on the inside. I'm so embarrassing and humiliated.

Try being in my position Karl, it's not pleasant. His gaze turned to me once again, his eyes were shifty. It's like his eye colour changes repeatedly "I'm just trying to help, god, stop being so difficult. Do you not appreciate someone who knows how you feel?" Huh? Knows how I feel? That felt comfortable to hear. It made me smile, I wasn't alone.

"You aren't alone" he added, just my thoughts. My smile turned wider.

I looked down at my feet and my stare turned to his legs instead. I started inspecting him with little to no suspicion. He was skinny, his legs were very nice.

He had colourful shoes on and a small chain around his ankle. He was tall, I think. Taller than most guys at our school. His legs really complimented his body, they were tall as well. His clothing style just fit him overall.

"Are you gonna take the paper or not?" He said and scooted the tissue closer to me, I felt as if I would lose if I accepted. My mind wasn't giving up that easily. "No" I declined and pushed his hand gently. I seem annoyed.

"Fine." His smile disappeared and he walked away not taking another look at me. He was trying to be friendly but I already know he's getting little to no recognition at this school.

He walked away and I could feel the guilt in my bones. I have to stop hurting peoples feelings, I do it way too often.

I looked at the bench seat where Karl sat a couple of seconds before. It was empty and the wind blew my hair in every direction possible.

I feel something inside my chest. It was almost something burning my insides. It was warm and horrible at the same time. My eyes felt dry and so did my throat. A fire had started inside me. But not a pleasant one.

I couldn't say it started for a specific reason but no matter how hard I tried getting the thought of my life out they continued. Stopping my thoughts I heard the school bell ring and I hurried to class with the fire in my mind.

I never felt anything like this before, I could feel my stomach ache and my hand was shaking. I want to explode, I want to scream at nothing at all. This feeling came sudden and took only minutes to evolve.

It hurts.