"You should not fight because of me." I look at Nick and Clay. "He doesn't have to call me Hyacinth. I just won't call him Dream. I won't call him Clay. He will be dickwad." I pull a smile to my face trying to cool the tension between the boys.

"Okay Bitch." Clay rolls his eyes and I let it settle. There is no reason to cause a riff between the boys. They were way better than that.

"I don't even want to be here now." Nick says under his breath. It's so quiet there is no way that George or Clay can hear it. I could barely catch it and I'm sat right at his side. But Clay's eyes shift. His eyes focus on Nick hard. His focus doesn't break from his friend.

"What was that?" Clay says. His voice is challenging but he's trying to hold back.

"Nothing." Nick says, meeting the glance of his friend. The tension between the four of us could be cut with a knife. I can't help but feel like this is completely my fault.

"Did you hear that Tubbo found his soulmate?" George says, trying to cut the tension.

"Really?" Nick responds. "So young and is already out of here. I don't know whether he's lucky... or not." Life with your soulmate isn't always peaches and cream. It isn't always positive. You lose everything when you find the one. You never see your friends again. You get wafted away to a new land. Again, unless you're someone like Q. Personable enough to be a guide.

"Who is... Tubbo?" I question as I glance between the two brown haired boys. Genuine curiosity runs through my tone. I'm not pushing to get an upper hand. I just want to know who this important person is to them.

"He was one of our youngest friends. He's very naive, very gullible. He found a soulmate very much suited to his needs. He's a lucky one. He had known his soulmate from day one. He got out of here quick. Before this world could taint him with its sorrow." Clay says. His voice is monotone like he's used to everyone getting what he desires. Like he will never get to find the one.

"He doesn't get to stay like Q?" I ask as I look between the three boys. "Like Karl?"

"They practically pulled him out of here the moment his timer hit zero. Didn't even have a second to question his choice." Clay's expression goes numb. His face falls as the images of his friend, getting swiftly pulled away, rush his mind. "Didn't have a chance to say goodbye. No one ever gets to say goodbye."

"Clay..." I start softly. I don't want to interrupt his sorrow but I have questions. Many questions I want to ask despite our quarrel. But I still start with just one.

"What happened to dickwad?" He questions me but I only shake my head at his response. I won't feed into him this time. We just got things civil.

"How many friends have you lost?" I see pain strike his eyes almost immediately. Tears begin to well in his ducts as he swallows down the lump forming in his throat. Too many. "Sorry." I say hushed. "I shouldn't have asked." Guilt. I feel instant guilt for causing him pain. Not just any pain. This pain.

"People come and go." He coughs and sniffles to cover up the emotions fighting their way to the surface. He sucks at hiding his emotions. He wears his heart on his sleeve. He carries the weight of the world on his shoulders. I don't know how he's not drowning at this point.

"His book has a lot of names in it. A lot of lost friends." Nick says softly. Rule number five. Never, ever, speak about the contents of your book. Your book is knowledge meant for your eyes only.

"Shut up!" Clay scowls as he shoots his eyes in the direction of a camera. Nick has pointed out most. He's told me where to be weary. Where to follow rules and where to break them. He's taught me the lay of the land and here he was breaking them plain as day.

"Blue light is red." Nick says without even looking. "Only the camera is on now. No audio is being listened to." So many hidden secrets. So much knowledge I need to learn. I wonder if Nick has learned this all on his own. Or if Clay taught him all of this. He seems to know all. Surely he should know this too.

"Doesn't mean they can't read your lips." Clay shakes his head. "You know better than this Nick. Get your head out of your ass." He seems so disappointed in his friend. And I can guarantee that he's blaming me for all of this in his head.

"She is new and she wouldn't even make a rookie mistake like that." Clay mumbles out completely speaking to himself. "Jesus." He groans as he runs his fingers through his dirty blonde locks.

"The girl you lost? Did she leave with a soulmate?" I try to pull the heat off Nick. I hate watching him get grilled by his closest ally in here. I'd rather get the heat. I can make enemies for myself. I don't want my friends to make enemies amongst themselves. Wait. Did I really just call these guys my friends? Were they? Clay was my enemy not my friend.

"Cinth." Nick touches my arm and I look at his touch. I look to see if it glows blue in the same way George's touch glows against Clay's skin. But the touch does not glow, it just burns. It burns how it always burns. With a fiery passion.

"She didn't. She just got taken away." Taken away. Taken away is never a good thing. It means you're tainted. It means you're flawed. Flawed past... fix. It means you get sent off to another land. An unspoken about land. No one knows what happens there. And worst of all, no one knows if you go there to live... or to die.

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