I'm with the Band

Chapter 1: Hang on to Yourself

I pushed my way through the tightly packed venue, squeezing through groups of people with heavy eyeliner and tight leather pants. Kill Klub had just finished their epic performance with the lead singer hanging off the ceiling beams like a monkey and dropping into the screaming crowd below. They were set to do a meet and greet in fifteen and my friends Sasha and Sierra had begged me to stay. The venue was suffocating though, packed to the brim with screaming teens, I just needed to step out for a second to get some fresh air. 

The October breeze felt nice on my hot face, I closed my eyes and listened to the sounds of the evening. The venue backed an open field where the long grass danced in the wind as far as the eye could see. I breathed in a breathe of fresh air and let it out. I will keep my composure today; I will not cry. It's been three days since I ended it with him. Three days of glorious freedom where I have started to reclaim my life. 

I pulled out a cigarette. I'm not a smoker, but he wouldn't let me be one so that was grounds for me to try. I'm not a big concert goer either, I prefer to listen to the music in the comfort of my own room where I can be alone with my thoughts, but I needed to get out and be something different. I pulled my lighter out of my ripped and faded black jeans and lit a fresh cigarette. I could feel the breeze blow right through me now, as if the wind knew I was out there. Sierra would come looking for me soon so I had better make this smoke break quick. 

"I thought I texted you to stay home today." 

My hand stopped halfway towards my mouth. A chill ran down my back at the familiar husky tone as I slowly turned my head towards him. Shit. 

"I don't remember allowing you to get half naked at a concert venue and smoke on the streets like a prostitute waiting to be picked up by a junkie." 

Shit. I never dressed like this; a near sheer black corset with a leather jacket, paired with a super skinny pair of jeans that were ripped up my thighs, I never smoked either, and I sure as hell didn't expect to see my ex-boyfriend outside the Rock Zone Venue like this. I craved freedom, for one night I wanted to be someone that I wasn't. I wanted to leave him and his bullshit behind and taste the freedom of the single life. I was tired of being told what to wear, what to do, how to live. This night was supposed to be my escape. 

"Hey Autumn, did you hear what I said? What ,did you cheat on me already? It's like what you're wearing is an invitation at this point, god damn it come here for a second, we have some unfinished business to talk about."

I threw my cigarette down and softly quenched the end with the tip of my docs. I had only taken three puffs of it. What a waste. 

"I have nothing to say to you Danny. We broke up three days ago. We're finished. Move on with your life, go find some other bitch to torment." 

I tried to keep my voice steady, I knew what could come; The storm of rage that could be unleashed upon me if I wasn't careful. He wouldn't dare hit me in public? Would he? He wouldn't be stupid enough. Would he? His mouth twitched as he took a step closer to me. he was out of the shadows and now in the full light of the small bulbs on the overhang of the back of the venue. He looked like he hadn't slept for days, his eyes ringed black with circles. His teeth were clenched and his eyebrows downcast as his eyes pierced through mine. 

"It's funny that you think this is over, that you think you could ever find a guy half as decent as me. You think someone could love you like I do? Stop being delusional and let's talk this out. Someone with your looks is lucky to be with someone like me. Even dressed like that, a guy would never lay a hand on you." 

Anger rose though my body. It took me three years to find the courage to end things between us. To end the torment that he called "love", and all the endless names and violence. I'm a couple meters from the back door. A small sprint to freedom in the crowd. I glance over to the door to gage my distance, a mistake as he was able to intercept my next move. My feet started moving but not fast enough, he covers the distance in two steps grabbing the collar of my leather jacket and dragging me back from the door. I land on my butt with his hand still on my collar. In one fast motion I pull my arms out of the sleeves, the October breeze hitting my exposed shoulders. I'm finally on my feet but I'm disoriented and he's too fast again. A strong shove from behind and my body crashes into the chain metal fence away from the venue. I'm getting farther and farther away from my escape, and I feel the panic start to rise in my chest. My hands hit the pavement and I can feel the stinging of my flesh as rocks bury themselves deep into my skin.