I wanted to forget everything.
I was lying down on my side in a fetal position and I hugged the pillow, at least the room smelled nice. But my toys weren't here, it was just a grown- up's room.
My wooden ship wasn't here and I had literally nothing left of my old life.
Maybe nothing truly happened and I dreamed it all... maybe there was no bunker, no Gemma, no life back in London. What if I hit my head really hard and it broke me? This could be the reason why the doctors helped me and my mind was confused, making me think my nightmares were reality.
I mean, I was so confused and lost that I didn't know what was real anymore. I didn't feel real.
"You want to keep him like he's a goddamn dog, don't complain when you get annoyed, Anne. We never had children for a fucking reason and now you want to play house? He's not worth being sold anymore but I lost money."
Desmond raised his voice, maybe he wanted to make sure I'd listen.
"I'm fucking done! You have to stop this, Catherine is poisoning your mind and you only think about the money! Mason is worried-"
"Stop talking about Mason. He doesn't seem worried to me, he's got his own kids to think about and put food on the table. Is that why you want to keep him? You're jealous of Mason?"
Desmond was always so mean to her.
Sometimes I heard them fighting and she would scream, I knew he hurt her.
But then he'd say he loved her, and I didn't know why she believed. I wished someone would love me, but in a good way.
This wasn't good.
"Harry is staying here and I'm going to take care of him. Call the fucking lawyer." Anne snapped. "He's my responsibility, he almost died. I can't let more children die, you have to stop this."
"If I had a son, it'd never be like that! He's scared of the dark, for fuck's sake! Crying like a little girl! He's not going to be a man. A true man."
Desmond's words made me cry, maybe he was right about me. "I'm not gonna waste my fucking time teaching him. You do whatever the fuck you want. If this backfires, I'll kill him."
His threats made me feel nothing anymore, I was learning how to become numb. I still cried though, I didn't like when he was mean to me.
The bedroom door opened after a few seconds and Anne walked in, wiping away her tears too. I wanted to ask her why she was with him if he made her cry so much. I wanted to ask her why I was here.
"Hi, Harry." She smiled, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. "You can keep the lights on, it's okay."
I just nodded, not even bothering to brush my hair off my face. The curls were getting too long but I didn't want to cut it.
"Are you hungry? Thirsty?" She asked me, clenching her fists as if she was trying to stop herself from touching me.
I shook my head, looking down at my fingers. There was nothing I wanted to say so I just whistled, missing my sister more than usual tonight. Maybe because I missed feeling safe and loved.
"Is that Fleetwood Mac? Landslide?" Anne asked me with a smile and I looked at her, the name was familiar because I knew there were records of this band back at my real home. "I love them. Do you want me to sing it to you?"
Her offer caught me off guard and I didn't know what to do, so I just nodded. Her eyes were always kind, I knew she wasn't mean like Desmond.
But I didn't know her.
