「 𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙖𝙡 𝙙𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 」txt yeonjun

: chapter 44

Its been 3 days since your Dad is still not yet awake after his surgery. You and your family are getting more worried about your Dad. It is also been 3 days since you haven't see Yeonjun and he doesn't message or call you back either.

You texted him first.

You
Can we meet at the
usual secret place that
we used to go...? meet
me there at 9 a.m today

Yeonjun
okay

Yeonjun
i am coming

You feel uneasy too.

You can feel him being distant on you and same goes with you as well. You asked permission to your Mom and she allows you, just be extra more careful.

***

You came to the playground where you first met and he was their at the swing, sitting alone. No one was there and the place was so quiet. You sat down in front of him and he gave you a small smile.

Four minutes had passed and no one is still talking.

"Why are we here?" he cut off the silence and asked you.

"Are you mad?"

Yeonjun sigh, "Not really... just... upset" he said, "From the night you told me to shut up my mouth until now, I feel upset by hearing those words coming from you"

You sigh, "I am sorry... I am sorry if I said that... I wasn't careful on using words..."

"Not just that... you were ignoring my messages and calls for the past 2 days and you were suddenly sending me a message saying not to message you and now you were asking me if I am mad at you?"

"I am sorry"

"You doesn't sound sincere, Y/N..." he sigh.

I am really sorry, I just need to be sound like I am not.

"Cut the chase and tell me, Y/N. Are we really okay or do I need to pretend that we're okay? Cause if it was just me who sees that you were distant to me then I guess I am stupid. You were avoiding me lately and I feel betrayed because of that... I don't understand if why you were so cold to me lately" he said.

You sigh, "I'm sorry..."

"Is that all what you can tell?"

"I am sorry because if you did not met me then this wouldn't happen to you. After all, San was the main reason why all of this is happening and he is the main reason why all of you are suffering and it is because of me... it all started because of me"

Yeonjun shook his head, "What? No, it wasn't your fault"

You sigh, "I wish you a good life, Yeonjun"

"What are you trying to tell me right now?" he said and look confused.

You sigh, "Let's breakup..."

"What? Why?"

"I was the one who need to blame why all of this are happening and you are one of the reason why I'm regretting things because I make your life miserable!" you said.

He was silent for a moment. Both of you.

He sigh, "Are you really breaking up with me just because you feel like you make my life miserable? Why do you think that way?"

"Look, things aren't working for the both of us. We used to be jealous to each other and we almost broke up, you had a hard time because of Mark and Dahee and now, it was because of San... all of that was because of me"

"No, because that is what you believed!" he said, "YOU ONLY BELIEVED THAT ALL OF THESE THINGS ARE HAPPENING BECAUSE OF YOU! WHILE I BELIEVED THAT THIS IS HAPPENING TO TEST THE BOTH OF US IF HOW LONG AND HOW MUCH WE TRUST EACH OTHER TO BE ABLE TO RELY ON EACH OTHER, Y/N!" he said in anger.

You stayed silent.

"YOU WERE OVERTHINKING THAT ALL OF THIS HAPPENED BECAUSE OF YOU!" he said.

"BECAUSE IT WAS TRUE!!!" you yelled back.

Yeonjun sigh and look so done with you, "I don't blame anyone but only San... if you blame yourself like that then go for it... but I wanted to tell you this, you were selfish for breaking up with me just because you think that I'm blaming you and I feel really upset that you think I was thinking that way even though I am not..."

You burst in tears.

He stood there in silence and just listening to you while sobbing.

He once sigh again after a minute, "Look, Y/N... I never blame you and I never will... I don't think that all of this are happening just because of you and I never think that way... I don't understand why breaking up will be the solution for you to handle this situation while you can just simply work this out with me. I don't understand why you decide on yourself without asking what I feel and how I feel... I don't understand why you're being like this right now..." he said and leave a deep sigh, "Let me ask you once again... are you really breaking up with me?"

You were hesitating because you doesn't want to breakup with him either but a side of you makes you feel that you want too. You really felt bad for yourself and feels like you were just bringing a bad luck to Yeonjun, all this time. You feel like because of you, his life were miserable and because of you, everyone is in trouble. You feel like you want to get distant to everyone and makes you feel that you should let them go live their life freely without hanging out with you anymore. You just want to be alone to make everyone live in peace and for their safety. You just want them to pretend that you were just a stranger just like the first time they saw you.

"I am asking you... if you'll breakup with me. Never come back to me..." Yeonjun said, "Honestly, I really feel upset to you for making unfair decisions... I feel upset to you right now... so please... make it with me... work it again with me. To speak frankly, no matter how upset I am right now... I am hoping that you will not breaking up with me..." he said and a tears stream down his face but he is trying to be calm.

You were crying too.

He can't help it but to cry too.

"Just because of San and what just happened... we're ending like this? with a non-sense reason? Is that how easy for you to let me go?"

"No, of course notㅡ"

"ㅡTHEN WHY ARE YOU BREAKING UP WITH ME?!"

"You need to live normally... I cause so much trouble to you since the day we knew each other..."

"Y/N, everything is on the past and what's happening right now, just happened... it wouldn't last! It wouldn't be forever! Everything will be alright!"

"But what if I cause trouble again to you?"

"I don't mind... I don't fucking mind! I promise to protect you and I'm doing it because I said to!" he said, "Please..." he held your hands, "don't do this..." he begged.

You sigh and let go his hands, "You'll find someone better... I guess, I wasn't the good luck for you" you said while wiping your tears and walkaway.

Yeonjun just stare at you for a moment before bursting in tears. He sat down on the swing and just cry hard. He just can't let you go easily.