"I never wanted to leave you, Harry. But things were getting out of hand and I couldn't take it anymore. Desmond was off the rails and Catherine was using her mind tricks on him, the whole trafficking became something much worse than it should." She said, letting out an exasperated breath.
Wow, was she fucking serious right now?
"The trafficking became worse than it should? I'm sorry, I'm a killer and I've taken so many lives that you wouldn't be able to fucking count, but onE thing that is crossing the fucking line is selling children to rapists! What the fuck is wrong with you? Trafficking is worse! You can't make it good!" I was shouting already, losing my fucking patience.
I shouldn't have brought my gun, my hand was itching to grab it.
Her wide eyes were looking at me as if she didn't expect me to lash out, which proved she didn't know me at all anymore. Seven years was long enough for anyone to change after going through so much shit, and I wasn't the same boy she left behind.
And she really tried to apologize for leaving me because things got difficult?
"Why didn't you take me with you?" I asked her, taking a deep breath and looking away from her. I wasn't sure I could handle the answer.
"I couldn't, the FBI wouldn't let me. They helped me fake my suicide and I left a note and planned it all, your father never suspected it. But I asked him to look after you as my last wish, I knew he loved me despite his... issues."
She explained. "I knew he'd keep you safe."
Well, 'explained' was a fucking understatement. And I was sure we had very different definitions of what the word 'safe' meant.
"You asked him to look after me? You know how he was like and you thought he'd feel guilty because you killed yourself, is that it? You thought he'd take care of me because he'd blame himself for your suicide?" I actually laughed before I could cry in front of her. "You're fucking pathetic."
"Harry." She raised her voice and my glare was enough to make her change her tone.
"Darling, it had to be done. I had to stop the trafficking somehow and I couldn't do it on my own, I couldn't take it anymore. I've been the informant for a while now and that was the only way. Mason knew, he was trying to help me."
"I'm sorry, but you all were involved in the trafficking and you expect me to feel bad? You expect me to understand?" I raised my voice again. "You started something you shouldn't and then you got desperate to stop it when you saw how bad it truly is. It's on you."
"Desmond never let me do anything about it, you didn't see how he was like when you weren't around." She started crying but it didn't affect me at all. "He made sure to leave bruises where no one would see. I didn't have a choice, Harry."
"You had a choice." I snapped, chewing the inside of my cheek to stop my tears from streaming down my face.
I knew my father was abusive, but I didn't know he was physically abusive towards my mother. I wanted to bring him back to life so I could kill him again, but I knew Cleo made him suffer for me.
This was so fucking hard to process and I hated that I missed my mum. I missed feeling safe when I was younger... on the rare occasions I could remember.
"I tried to talk to the FBI and convince them you were innocent, but you got deeper and deeper into the mess when you started getting more jobs and helping Desmond. I knew he was fooling you, but you were guilty nonetheless." She wiped her tears away. "I tried for years to distract them from you or Cleo, Mason asked me to make sure she was safe and I was devastated when I heard about his death. He was my best friend."
