"For fuck's sake." He groaned, bringing his hands up to his bleeding nose.
"Protect me? What the fuck is wrong with you!" I threw my hands in the air, ignoring how all my knuckles were throbbing with pain, but my head hurt even more. "I black out and practically cut someone's head off while completely unaware of it and you fucking watched, and then you lied? You let me think I was okay? You fucking lied to me!"
"Louis is dead anyway." He shook his head. "And we had a lot on our plate, you had even more. So yes, I lied because I was worried."
"You think I'm weak," I said through gritted teeth, watching as he stood up from the couch, the blood dripping from his nose was streaming down to his chest now until it reached his butterfly tattoo. "I'm always there for you when you have an episode and I never fucking lied about them! Do you have any idea how this makes me feel?"
"That was different, you weren't yourself. You just snapped." He sounded as exasperated as me. "You're the strongest person I know, Cleodora. I was only worried about how hard you'd punish yourself for losing control."
"Harry, what the fuck? When is lying the best option?" I was shouting again and he never looked away from my eyes, chewing the inside of his cheek. "This is about me! It is my fucking right to know what I did, this is serious! I wouldn't have remembered if that fucking whistling wasn't already triggering a few flashes and now this same situation with this man! My brain is completely fucked!"
"We're all fucked! Didn't you realize that yet?" Harry shouted back at me, taking a step closer as he looked down at me. "The moment we learned the truth about what was truly going on between our families, shit hit the fan.
We were both vulnerable and weak, and yes, I thought I was doing the right thing to help you feel slightly better! Watching you like that fucking broke me!"
"What about me? Didn't I deserve to know how fucking broken I was? You let me fool myself." I tried to push him back but he grabbed my wrists.
"You're fooling yourself every goddamn day, Cleodora! I lied to protect you." He said through gritted teeth, letting go of my wrists.
His words hurt more than if he'd actually punched me.
"Every day? Wow... and now you tell me? You weren't complaining when your dick was inside every hole in my body during the past three fucking months!" I snapped. "Or weren't you just fucking me an hour ago? Weren't you just pretending things were fine? Stop being a fucking hypocrite."
Harry moved faster than my infuriated brain could process, pushing me against the wall as he wrapped his fingers around my neck to keep me still, definitely not in the same way he usually did it.
"I know things aren't fine. I'm actually the only one aware of it in this fucking relationship and I really try to separate things to make life less shitty for us." His voice was dangerously low as he glared at me, and I didn't move just yet. "You've been pretending ever since Niall died, don't fucking call me a hypocrite."
"Fuck you!" I pushed him back by pressing my fingers into the bandaged gunshot wound on his shoulder, and even if he didn't feel much pain, it forced his arm to let go of me so I could manage to punch him again before he could even blink. "Don't fucking talk about my brother!"
"Someone has to!" Harry raised his voice again, his cheekbone was already a deep red from where I'd just punched him, and the way he was clenching his fists by the side of his body proved that he was holding himself back.
He could try, but he sure as fuck would never fucking win a fight against me, especially tonight.
"First I'm too weak for you to tell me the truth and now it's my fault that I've been 'pretending'? Now I have to talk about Niall? Sounds very accurate to me." I chuckled with no humor at all, ignoring the tears streaming down my face. I had no idea why I was crying.
This was too much.
I looked around the living room, wiping my tears away as I spotted the two dead bodies across the room.
We were so fucked.
And the only person I thought I could trust was one of the many that ended up lying to me.
The only fucking one I love more than anything else.
We were both breathing heavily and just staring at each other now.
I was tired.
This was so fucking draining, especially now that I realized that I didn't know what I was truly capable of.
It wasn't about killing Louis, it was the whole fucking situation around it. Especially the lie. And now Harry wanted to bring my brother into this?
Fuck no.
I reached for my knife on the floor and continued from where I left off, holding the man's head back as I slit his throat swiftly. It was better taking it out on him than stabbing Harry, loving someone really made things complicated.
"Clean this shit up or leave it like this, I don't fucking care." I glared at him, and he was clenching his jaw as he watched me with careful eyes.
"Since you decided when I should or shouldn't know the truth, I'll decide when I want to talk about this again or talk to you again. And don't fucking try me, Harry. You of all people know what I'm truly capable of."
