And now I knew why.
Harry sang Landslide while he bathed me, right after I nearly decapitated Louis. I remembered being completely detached from myself, just so utterly lost.
I couldn't explain what I'd felt at that moment, but it was close to the dangerous emptiness when I found my brother dead.
Only that time my body completely took over and I blacked out, I was so fucking affected by it all that I literally acted like a madwoman.
I snapped... it was my most vulnerable state, that's why I also revealed my feelings towards Harry back when I was in the tub. He took care of me, I remembered that... but that wasn't all he did.
I remembered very well how he fucking lied to my face the next day, saying he was the one who killed Louis.
Did he really think I was so fucking weak that I couldn't handle being told the fucking truth? Did he fucking pity me?
I deserved to know what I'd done and just how fucking out of it I was, my mind was fucked up before my brother's death. Maybe if I was aware of things I could've done something different... I had no idea anymore.
"Answer me right the fuck now!" I raised my voice when Harry didn't answer, he just stared at me with wide green eyes.
And I remembered we weren't alone, so punched the guy in the face as hard as I could, knocking him out again so we could have some privacy.
I ignored the pain on my busted knuckles, looking deep into Harry's eyes.
"Did you remember?" He asked. "Are you fucking serious?" I shouted, taking a step closer to him.
"Zayn is asleep." He actually had the audacity to say that to me.
"As if I fucking care, Harry!" I pointed my finger at him. "Answer. My. Fucking. Question."
He cursed under his breath, running his fingers through his hair again and then pinching his lower lip between his thumb and index finger. His black chipped nails contrasted with his pink lips and he actually didn't answer me, he seemed very damn nervous.
"I wanna hear you say it. Tell me you lied." I said, taking another step closer. "Tell me the reason."
"Cleo, baby, it's in the past-"
I had already lost control before I could become aware of my movements, clenching my fist and punching his face with my hand that wasn't already bruised.
He inhaled sharply, taking a step back because of the impact and bringing his hand up to his busted lip, because I sure as fuck didn't hold back.
Hurting him like this actually hurt me but I couldn't stop myself, I was so fucking pissed. My bad mood wasn't helping at all and it seemed like my clusterfuck of emotions were crashing in, this was dangerous.
"Cleodora." Harry looked deep into my eyes. "Calm the fuck down."
Excuse me?
I moved to punch him again but he was faster this time, grabbing my arm and twisting it behind my body. He easily managed to immobilize me because my muscles were still too weak and sore, but that didn't mean I didn't struggle.
And I also knew his wounded shoulder made him weaker as well.
"I'm gonna explain, please calm down." He whispered in my ear as he kept my back pressed against his bare chest. "I lied to protect you."
Wow.
I used the back of my head to hit his face, catching him off guard when I pulled my arm away from his hold and roughly pushed him back until he fell onto the couch.
