Five of Hearts

Chapter 31

Sav didn't speak the entire ride home. I decided to drive, to give her some space. Hudson sat in the front with me, and Keegan rode in the back with Savannah. I couldn't hear what he said, but the entire ride home, his voice sounded from the back, soft and pleading. About three minutes into the drive, Hudson turned on some soft music so we couldn't har what was being said. Which was probably for the best; my nerves were shot, my head pounding, and my body already exhausted.

As soon as we pulled into the driveway at the house, Sav hopped out, marched to her car, threw her things in, and drove away. I was mortified. Keegan immediately walked into the house, phone in hand, and face desperate.

Why am I so shitty?

"Hattie," Hudson called to me as I walked briskly into the house after Keegan. I didn't stop.

"Hattie," he said again, louder, as I ignored him, tears still sitting in my eyes. I yanked open the garage door into the house and could hear his footsteps catching up to me. I passed through the kitchen and almost made it to the stairs before Hudson's hand slammed down onto the kitchen counter.

"Hattie, stop!" he yelled. I flinched and stopped walking but kept my back to him, wanting nothing more than to go to my room and die of shame. "Turn around and come here. Now."

I hesitated. I didn't want him to see me. I didn't want anyone to see me. But the demand in his voice caused my body to shiver and I turned back, walking towards him slowly. I kept my head down, refusing to look him in the eyes.

I ruined everything.

And Savannah hated me.

"Look at me," Hudson murmured forcefully when I stood directly in front of him. I just couldn't bring myself to look up. He took my chin in his long fingers and lifted my face to stare at his. His eyes were soft despite his commanding tone. "You are not going to let yourself drown in this. It wasn't your fault. We came onto you. We've both been trying to catch your heart for a while. Savannah will forgive you. But what you're not going to do is allow yourself to feel like shit."

Before I could respond that I absolutely did feel like shit, he took me in his arms and held me. Neither of us moved for a few moments and I let myself relax. It didn't change the fact that I still felt awful. But the act was nice and comforting all the same.

"What's going on?" I heard Atticus' voice behind me and whirled around to face him. I didn't realize when I opened my eyes to look at him that the tears had started to roll down my cheeks like waterfalls. I quickly wiped them away as I regarded his hard face.

"Nothing," Hudson simply responded and I sighed with relief. I didn't want him to know what had happened. I didn't think I could take the way I felt he would look at me after.

Atticus didn't respond immediately. He just stared at me and the tears that I couldn't keep at bay. With a furrowed brow and tight lips, he regarded us as Hudson held me in his arms. Emotions passed over his face, but of course I couldn't decipher them.

"Fine," Atticus finally responded. "We're meeting at 8 to go over tonight. Be ready."

He immediately turned around and walked off. I felt my body almost fall with exhaustion and shame.

"I need a shower," I murmured. Hudson reluctantly let me go, planted a soft kiss on my cheek before I staggered upstairs where I showered until the water ran cold.

"That's not fair!" I snapped at Atticus as he stood with arms crossed in front of the TV. I held my hands in tight fists on my lap, squeezing the black material of one of the new cocktail dresses he'd bought me. "I'm completely fine, I want to play."