Five of Hearts

Chapter 14

I can't. I cannot be attracted to Atticus. He doesn't even like me. He hates me, actually. Why did he have to wear that stupid shirt? Why does his stupid scar turn red when he's around me? Why did he have to kiss me like that?

He was just trying to get me away from Richard.

He was just trying to get me away from Richard.

He was just...

So why? Why would he kiss me like his life depended on it? The way he spoke to me tonight before the game...he doesn't like me. At all.

"Not everything is about you, Hattie."

I know what's happening. I'm only focused on Atticus because he doesn't want me. Everybody wants what they can't have...right?

I jumped when the car door opened and Atticus slid easily inside. He buckled his seatbelt before starting the car and speeding off.

I wanted to know if everything went okay. I wanted to know if Richard tried to get me to come back inside. I wanted to know if we made enough money. But I couldn't make myself speak. Part of me felt embarrassed at the fact that I so obviously, suddenly, and unfortunately had a crush on Atticus, but also another part of me was in denial.

So instead, we rode in silence. I could practically hear my brain working overtime.

Get a grip, Hattie. Jesus.

I had to do something; it felt like I was going crazy.

"Is your last name really Gray?" I asked, my voice shook.

"Yes," Atticus responded simply. We sat in silence for a bit longer before he spoke up again. "I'm, uh...you did good back there. You played the part well."

"Thank you," I breathed, my voice barely above a whisper. We didn't talk again as we pulled into the garage. Atticus came around to my side of the car and opened the door for me. Surprise. He then opened the door to the house for me as well. Surprise again. He followed me up the stairs and to my bedroom.

You're reading into everything, Hattie. Of course he followed you upstairs, his bedroom is right next door.

As I walked carefully into my room, trying not to turn around and look at him, I felt my heart beating in my ears. Loud and angry. I was so mad at myself.

"Hattie..." Atticus said, his voice deep and gruff. I turned around to look at him. He leaned against my door frame, running a hand through his black curls. He sighed. "Look, I, um..."

I waited for him to finish, my eyes staring at him intently. His sharp jaw muscles twitched and his shirt had fallen open more. He pulled his dark eyes up to look at me, his mouth set in a straight, tight line.

"You did good tonight. Keep laying it on thick. They were eating you up."

My mouth fell open a little bit, shocked.

"That's all you have to say to me?" I responded, angry. I expected a bit more. Maybe, apologize for kissing me. Or admit he liked it. Something. Explain why he did it. Anything.

"Were you expecting something more?" Atticus sounded annoyed. He stood up straight and ran his hand through his hair again, a frown on his face.

"No," I said firmly, my head held high. "I wasn't expecting anything, Atticus."

"Great. Since you don't have class tomorrow, we will meet at 10 AM to start shooting."

"Perfect. Can you shut my door? I need to change."