F!ckings of a Pretty Boy ; sidemen

20) Be there for me

"What?" He snapped. "Too late. She already called." Simon took a step back as Josh turned to storm out of the room once more. Simon stood there dumbfounded. He had to wait. He couldn't walk into the call to leave. He opened the door just wide enough to hear at least one side of the conversation.

"Well I hope you're happy with that skank. . .You're gonna what?!. . .You didn't even ask me!. . .Of course it matters! If she's gonna be my-. . . . . .No! Why would I want to be stuck on an airplane with a scummy bastard like you?. . . .You don't mean that! You would be very proud of me. I'll prove it to you."

Simon ducked back into the room. He rushed to dress himself in his day clothes. This was more than he needed to know about the guy that fucks him. The door flew open this time. Simon froze while reaching for his shoes.

"Get out."

He just grabbed his shoes and phone in a handful and hurried out the door and down the hall. Simon hesitated at the front door. Maybe Josh needed someone to look after him. It made Simon nervous to leave him alone with all that wrath. He shuffled over to face down the hall. Perhaps he should make sure Josh is safe. Right as that thought occurred the picture frame flew from the room straight into the hall wall where the glass shattered to the floor. Simon bolted out of the apartment. Maybe it was more unsafe for him to stay.

The walk home felt incredibly awkward. They had never been interrupted to where they had to completely stop. The role-play was just getting good. Luckily his semi had gone away before he left so it wasn't that kind of an awkward walk back on campus. It was an unusually cold night for the middle of April but that didn't stop anyone from going out on this fine Friday. The lines to the bars lasted the whole block. There was temptation to hop in a queue and get some restroom action with a random man to satiate the hunger within. His gut churned, telling him that's not the right thing to do.

There was clearly severe turmoil occurring in Josh's family. His family must mean something to him if he still carries around that photo in his wallet. Simon's good conscience wouldn't sleep well if he just carried on as if nothing was wrong. Especially given Josh is left to cope with the family ruining news Simon could only assume was divorce by the language used over the phone. And given the way he handled the news before Simon even left, lord only knows how things are going while he's alone. An alcoholic left to their own devices while having a mental breakdown can never go well. All of the worst case scenarios played out in his mind. He shuttered at the thoughts. He did want to stay and help Josh process the situation. But it was clear Josh wouldn't have let him help. Simon has to look after himself first.

It was difficult to sleep that night. What if those worst case scenarios happen? That guilt would haunt Simon for the rest of his life. He could have been there to stop it. He had to keep reminding himself that Josh clearly wasn't in a state to accept help. Simon isn't his babysitter. Josh makes his own choices. They aren't Simon's responsibility. It's three in the morning now and the drugs to help him sleep were finally kicking in.

As he started to come to the next morning, Simon's brain slowly charged up. A weird weight in the air lingered. At last his brain was fully booted and he was able to recall everything from the night before. The grogginess plaguing him immediately vanished at the realization. Simon grabbed his phone to see no notifications from Josh. The bed sheets flew off his body and he hopped to the floor. His knees nearly gave out from under him. Randy, who had been scrolling through his phone in bed all morning, shot an odd glance. Simon reassured him before quickly dressing in the clothes from last night as they were still on the floor.

The key fumbled between his shaky fingers trying to get it to into Josh's lock. The scene Simon walked into was somehow shocking even though it was exactly what he expected. Empty liquor bottles on the kitchen counters and coffee table, furniture knocked over, and garbage abandoned across the hardwood floor. Over on the couch was Josh knocked out so hard, not even Simon shouting his name  could wake him.

"Josh! Josh!" He dashed over to check he was still breathing. There was a pulse. For a moment Simon's worries finally flooded out of his head. Josh managed to survive the night on his own. Clearly there was struggle to do so as evident by the uninhabital state of his apartment. Since Simon opted out of helping his lover last night, the least he could was clean up the place now. So he role-played as maid without the actual fun part of sex, and all the actual work instead. Scrubbing the floors and countertops, gathering the glass bottles that all clinked against each other in the trash bags, and reorganizing ever misplaced item.

The shattered picture frame was still in the corner of the hall. Carefully, Simon pulled the photo from the wreckage. It was a family vacation photo from what must have been several years ago based on the braces reflecting in Josh's smile. This time it was just him and his dad posing against the railing on a boat's deck out at sea. Simon wasn't too sure if he should keep the photo or throw it out with the glass. It certainly seemed that Josh didn't want it. He had it face down for a while. Despite that, he still kept it around. He could've discarded it then but he didn't. Simon put it back in Josh's room upside down as he liked it. Then Simon noticed on the back in delicate, seamless cursive a note written:

My two handsome men, 2015

He looked back from the open doorway with the garbage back in one hand and the door knob in the other. He gently closed the door leaving no trace except a note on the coffee table reading: 

Don't hurt yourself. Call me. 

And you're welcome

-Simon