Acceptance | Gay MxM |

33. The Whole Point

"Are you trying to change the subject?" I asked, feeling a little awkward now, but that wasn't because of me – it was because of Dad.

"Yes, I am," he purred, rubbing my fingers.

"You just want pizza."

He smiled and leaned in to whisper in my ear, "I want you."

Whatever thoughts I had in my mind, they simply left, leaving me frozen in my seat. I stared at our joined hands, suddenly feeling the need to get fresh air. I did my best to ignore it. That wasn't my voice, after all. What I, the real me, wanted was far from fresh air, so I did my best to fight against the person Dad had created.

It was getting easier, too... I'd grown to fear loneliness. I'd grown to fear my old apartment. I'd grown to fear the corner I'd hid in for so many years, never feeling anything, only waiting for death.

A short moment later, Cole had to get back to work, and I spent the rest of his shift staring into nothingness, listening to myself.

After Cole was free to go home, we went for a short walk around the block. It was dark already, and the streets were quieting down. The air was chilly, but refreshing. Neither of us talked much, and for a moment, I was worried over Cole's silence. It was always unnatural.

But when I looked at him, he had a warm, lazy smile on his lips as he watched me. I had to look away to catch my breath. He was just so...

And when he smiled...

Especially at me...

Once we got back home, Cole ordered the food and we both took quick showers. While we waited for the pizza, we built a comfortable nest on his couch with pillows and blankets.

"A pajama party," Cole smirked when we were done.

"You want a pillow fight?" I asked.

"I do feel like a teenage girl today," he snickered.

"You're far from one," I said, eyeing his still impressive physique – he was losing his muscle mass at a much slower pace than I was.

"By the way, are you working out behind my back?" I squinted my eyes at him.

"What? No," he chuckled. "You've seen the boxes I need to carry at work."

"Hmmh..."

"Do you want to start working out again?" he asked, sitting down on the couch, patting the spot next to him.

I shrugged as I did as he wanted. "Maybe. I'm kind of getting bored just sitting around."

"Then let's hit the gym," he said, and after a short pause, he added, "On Monday."

I raised my eyebrow at him in amusement. "Are we getting lazy?"

He laughed, putting his arm around my shoulders to pull me tightly against him. "Did I already tell you how much I love it when you say we?"

His words made me flustered.

We started watching the movie, and the pizza arrived half an hour later. I mostly focused on the TV, but every now and then, and especially after we ate, Cole stole my attention. I had the feeling he wasn't actually watching the film.

It began with him slowly wrapping himself around me: arm around my shoulders, knee resting on my legs, his body turned toward me... When I finally managed to turn my attention back to the movie, he started caressing my shoulder, sometimes gently, sometimes more demandingly. After a while, I started feeling comfortable again and turned my body ever so slightly toward his, and he immediately took my hand in his.