After getting away from his cruel father's tyranny, Randall has to learn how to live again, and accept the person he was meant to be - with a little help of a local bartender...
*****
An empty shell is all what is left of twenty-five-yea...
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-Randall-
My first session with my shrink was weeks away, so I did what I could to keep my head together while waiting. The next few days were complete shit as I struggled to stay sane. Boss thought he was doing me a favor by letting me take a few days off, but truth to be told, I was going even more insane sitting indoors with only my own thoughts accompanying me.
And my father's horrible words echoing in my head.
I didn't dare to think about Cole because I feared it would make things worse. I had hidden his letter and the DVD into one of the drawers in the entrance hall. Out of sight, out of mind, right? Wrong. More than a hundred times I caught myself peering at that one particular drawer whenever I walked past it, and I did that a lot. I was too nervous and restless to sit still, but I was too afraid to leave my home to get rid of some of that energy I had.
Then I gave up. After staying indoors for three days straight, I finally faced the DVD. I had nothing to do, so why not watch it?
But as I approached it, the thought of Cole was harder to ignore. Especially the fact that the guy was worried about me... He didn't even know me...
I kneeled down next to the drawers and slowly pulled the bottom one open. The DVD was there with the letter lying on top of it. At first, I couldn't bring myself to touch either of them.
"Randall? Are you all right?"
But then, I found enough courage to reach for the letter. I carefully opened it and read the few lines written on it. Cole... He'd been worried enough to find where I worked and leave the envelope for me. It made me feel odd. And I guess... not the bad kind of odd.
I felt calmer when I took the DVD and went to put it on. I tried not to let my thoughts get too out of hand in case it would bring up the memories I never wanted to remember, but allowed them to exist because I... I liked how they made me feel.
I had to admit that the movie was entertaining, though it didn't make me fall in love with cars, and that got me thinking... After the movie ended, I stayed on the couch, carefully trying to get to know myself better. Was there anything I was passionate about? No... Was there something I really enjoyed doing? No... Was there anything in particular I liked?
Nothing... I was... I was practically no one. I was a mechanic and I spent a lot of time at the gym, but that was it. I didn't care about entertainment. I didn't know if I even enjoyed watching movies or listening to music or playing games. I couldn't even decide if I had a favorite dish. Probably not. Food was just fuel. It didn't matter if it was good or not. I didn't have favorite animals, favorite sports, favorite colors... Nothing.
I was absolutely nothing.
Cole jumped into my thoughts again... I did enjoy talking with him, but that was a dangerous territory to step in. I didn't want to feel like shit again, so to get my mind off things, I started cleaning my home. It took me hours, and once I was finally done, I had several bags of trash waiting by the door. Taking them out was the last thing on my list, so I put on my jacket, grabbed the keys and the bags, and headed out.
