Acceptance | Gay MxM |

18. Quiet Humming

"Thanks," I said, knowing he'd hoped to make me smile. I just... I was too uncomfortable for that. I wasn't even sure if I was able to smile anymore.

"Make yourself at home," he said gently, gesturing for me to sit down. "I'm sorry about this..."

"It's fine," I told him as I moved to the couch. "I'll manage."

He lingered by the door for a moment, watching me, but he couldn't stay for much longer.

"Just let me know if you need anything," he repeated quietly, and after I nodded, he stepped back out to start his shift.

I felt bad for him... He was doing so much for me, and what was I giving in return? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

I sat down on the couch and spent some time trying to figure out how to turn on the TV, but once I found the remote, I just stared at the screen without seeing anything.

I should be dead.

Where that thought came from so suddenly, I had no idea. It scared me, but at the same time, it felt right. I should've died when my father threw that laptop at me right in the beginning. I touched the scar on my forehead. I could still feel the small dent on my skin left behind by the big wound. It should've killed me.

I tried to force that thought out of my head and gave my attention to the small room instead. It reminded me of Cole's home. It was just as cluttered. Then I realized most of the stuff around me had to be his. The curtains, the table, the chairs in the corner, the bookshelf that was mostly filled with files, old magazines, and weird decorations from plastic frogs to glass jars. But it was very clean. I couldn't spot much dust or dirt anywhere.

I got up and went to pick up a wooden Buddha statue from the shelf. It was right next to a Pokémon toy. I studied it for a moment, not really caring about it, so I put it back down and picked up a magazine from the pile. Cars. The next one was about hunting. The one after that was about knitting.

No one bothered me while I went through the stuff in the room, picking them up one by one to take a better look. It was somehow calming. A while later, I found myself exploring the hallway leading to the dressing rooms. I found the bathroom too, and wasn't surprised to find out it looked similar to the one in Cole's apartment.

When I returned to the TV and sat down, I was finally able to focus on watching it. Though it took only around five minutes for Cole to peek his head into the room.

"Did you find the toilet?" he asked.

"I did, yeah," I replied.

"Everything is all right?"

"Everything is all right," I said with a nod.

"Good," he said, and stepped into the room. "Sorry, I'm a bit bored right now. Slow day..."

I only nodded a few times, but his stare made me a little nervous. It seemed like he couldn't find anything to say either, and as the silence continued, it started feeling awkward.

"Is it... Is it normal to be slow?" I asked, surprising us both.

"Not this slow, no, but it's a nice day, so maybe they'll come in later," he said.

Just when he finished his sentence, I saw a group of four people stepping into the bar. I raised my eyebrow at him.

"Or, you know, now," he said and chuckled. "You need anything before I go?"

"I'm good," I told him.

"Okay. I'll be back later," he promised, and stepped out.

I watched him serve the new people. He was so upbeat when he welcomed them... He clearly loved his job. He chatted with the group like they were his good friends, but it was clear he didn't know them.