Am I Ruining This? (A danisnotonfire fanfic)

The Past (Part 22)

Avia's POV

I wake up to the sun shining through the windows and groan. I roll over to snuggle into the warm protection of my boyfriend, but only roll into an empty space. I open my eyes to look around when I realise I'm not in the flat. As I stare around in confusion, I start to recognise this place.

'Oh no...oh, god please no...' I pray silently. I can't be back here. I just can't. I squeeze my eyes shut for 5 seconds, then open them again. But I am just greeted with the same sight as before. 

'But...how?' I whisper to myself, tears threatening to spill. I suddenly remember what happened...hours ago? Days? I was walking to my appointment...an appointment with a therapist? My mind is foggy as I try to remember what happened. I squeeze my eyes shut and try to think. The hospital...signing in....going to the room...and then...him. My eyes snap open as I realise he has me back in his grasp.

I feel the back of my head, where I remember getting hit. Who hit me? He was sitting down in front of me...

My eyes widen when I think of who, and my hand covers my mouth. This nightmare is getting worse. I get up off the small bed I've been laid on. I stare around again, thinking of all the memories here. The good and bad. 

I begin to hyperventilate, as I think of the situation. I can't have this happen again! I can't, it will mentally destroy me! 

I sink to the floor, in hysteria, thinking about how stupid I am. Why the fuck didn't I tell Dan or Tori or Phil that I had a therapist appointment?! If they knew they could find me! I sit on the floor, crying and crying until I hear a door open from somewhere.

Him.

I quickly get up, wipe away my tears and lie back on the bed. If he still thinks I'm unconscious he might leave me alone for a while, buying me some time. I close my eyes and try to steady my breathing, when the door bursts open. He walks over and his face comes close to mine, his hot breath on my face. It takes all my strength not to flinch. His face moves away before he chuckles.

'I know you're awake, your in a different position from earlier. You don't move when you're unconscious.' He says. My eyes open, and I sit up.

'Yeah, of course you'd know that, the amount of times you've left me unconscious.' I say. 'What the fuck do you want from me, Adam? You're fucking insane. Just like before...' I mumble the last part, and his fist connects with my jaw, and I fall to the ground. 

'Would you care to repeat that?' He hisses into my face and I turn away, cradling my jaw. 

'You know why you're here, Avia.' He spits out. 

You should know the story.

During my childhood, I was abused. Physically, mentally and sexually.

After my mum died, my dad went into a depression and wasn't fit to look after me, so I went into foster care. But my foster parents weren't good people. I was technically their slave. They constantly beat me, put me down and raped me for 5 years until I was 7. It was so often that I thought it happened to every little girl. I had to become independent quickly, like making my food, washing myself, dressing myself and getting myself to school and back. All this led to self harming at a young age.

But, when I was 7, my dad was pronounced fit to take care of me and I went home. But I wasn't quick to trust him. I wouldn't talk to him or go near him, I wouldn't let him bathe me or dress me. Eventually I warmed up to him and he started asking me questions and I eventually told him everything that happened.

There was a big court case and they were put in jail for child abuse, but the memories haunt me and I had trouble trusting people. Like, when Sara came in our lives, it took me a year to trust her and know she is someone I can tell anything to.

At 7, my self harm was just scratches. I didn't know about it being self harm or anything, it just made me feel better so I did it but it got worse over the years.

Then, at 15, I met...Adam. He was 19. Everything was perfect, a young romance, until I started to trust him. He waited until he knew he had my trust then took advantage of me. 

He would force me to do things. Like, sex is one. So he raped me too, and would also beat me if I refused to do anything. I'd always make excuses at school and at home as to why I had bruises all over my face. Eventually it got so bad that I had to go to the hospital after a beating and my dad and Sara obviously found out. They knew he would never leave me alone so we moved house when I was 16 and he never knew the location, I finally thought it was the end of it. 

Dan never knew about him, only my dad, Sara and Tori did. I met Tori in my new school and we became best friends, so she knows everything.

But now he's found me and will never let me go. 

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