The VIRGIN STRIPPER

51

****Lisa Michaels ****
The break up with  Cole made me feel inadequate.  I don't know why but it just did.

Doesn't every girl have that stage in their life where they feel like they can never accomplish whatever they want no matter how much they have achieved?

No?

No worries then because I carried everyone's  curse.

My mom had this little notepad with a quote that said: it's okay to feel a little useless sometimes when your papers are oftenly plucked but that's what you were made for.

I still dont know what it meant I'm just happy to remember it and laugh through the tears.

I hadn't told Ella what had happened so she went out with Marc in the morning with the notion that I was sick.

At this point I didn't even want closure because if the guy could not tell me the reason I didn't care.

If it was so easy for him to make the decision for the both of us then fine!

Ugh! I hate my brain...

It always did this when I was in pain.

It always talked me out of grief because apparently, I was too strong to cry but I needed to let this hurt out one way or another.

See, when you learn to build walls and draw the blinds on your emotions then the brain grows a newer part that blocks out the need to be weak.

But it's okay to be weak sometimes.

My phone rang and I stretched my hand to reach for it.

"Hey?" I sniffed into the receiver and instantly regretted my decision to be social while grieving.

"What's wrong?" Harris' voice worried over the line.

"Hey, you're back!" I cried delightfully but it came out like I was dying.  "I want ice cream. " I whined and heard him laugh.

"I'll be at your place in a moment. Anymore requests your highness?"

"A hug." The phone went silent for a minute before I heard a cough echo through and then a rushed okay and a beep to signal the end.

I srolled through my phone and saw a few texts from Dave a little past midnight.

He apologized for the whole date thing and even bought me Chinese to seal the deal. His words not mine.

Dave:heeey?

Dave:sorry for insisting but I would like for you to drop by tomorrow

Dave:sorry, goodnight.

Dave:morning?

Me: sorry couldn't make it. I'm kinda sick.
I texted him and closed my eyes, letting the self induced migraine reign for a moment.

Why was I even crying?

Yeah, coz I was hurt.

Why was I hurt?

Co-

See what I was saying about my stupid brain?

Dave:what's wrong?

Me:a weird cold. Shouldn't you be entertaining your guests?

Dave: please don't tell me you went out without a sweater.