Ruin

32

I sigh again and decide to go look for Deidre and the crew who seem to have lost their way.

When I turn around, I notice that Lucas is no longer at the same spot, and a wave of disappointment washes over me.

I wish he would've at least come and say 'Hi'.

Then again, why would he?

It's not like I mean anything to him.

Of course not. Why did I even think for a moment that I did?

Or that he was happy to see me, at least.

So it go sometimes. Good cocky can do that to a bitch.

Trick yuh heart and confuse your senses.

Make you feel like you're important one moment then shame yuh when reality pops up pon yuh.

A life.

An exasperated sigh escapes my lips.

Important to him?

Pssh!

Who am I fooling?

I was just a piece of flesh to pass his time.

Wow.

I shake my head in an effort to distract my thoughts. I seriously need to stop making things out to be more than they are.

Especially when I'm the one who's left hurt. Always.

I sigh again.

Even after days, the whole situation is still unsettling.

I know I shouldn't have come here.

Maybe it's too much.

I think I made a mistake.

Maybe I'm just not ready.

I contemplate leaving for a moment, but my feet seem to have a mind of their own as they keep on walking. My eyes follow the signs set out to direct patrons to the changing rooms at the back.

Or is it the front?

I don't even know at this point.

The place is huge. Bigger than I remember from the vague memory I have of it from that night.

I'd thought it was beautiful then, but in broad daylight, beautiful is an understatement.

It almost looks like a resort.

I'm not surprised though. Not when we're dealing with someone like Lucas. Nothing he does seem to surprise me.

Lie yawh tell...

Yuh never surprise when him suck off yuh toe?

Not to mention when him nyam out yuh pus--

"Bestie!" someone calls out as I round the corner to the changing rooms.

I pull my eyes away from counting my steps on each concrete tiles, and they meet up with Deidre and Sanai who walk towards me, sporting bikinis and smiles.

"Gyal, a this yuh call soon come?" I say, pretending to be irritated.

She laughs and pulls me into a bone-crushing hug. For someone her size, she has the strength of ten lions.

Or ten battyman.

"Hush nuh! Yuh too miserable."

"Says Miss Impatience," I tease.