Love After Love...

Chapter 45: "I choose you."

Jimin's POV:
During the rest of the wedding, Jieun was taken away by a lot of her friends and family members to have a chat. We couldn't have a conversation because she was always talking to someone else. Taehyung and I had a talk of our own until it was time to go back home.

Jieun and I were driving to my apartment. She looked a little sullen. "Do you regret telling me you love me already? Why so upset?" I asked. "Oh Lord, of course not. I just..." she stopped. "What?" I asked. "I wanted to dance with you," she admitted. I smiled. I held her hand and she took my hand to her lips and kissed it.

A very comfortable silence fell upon us until I decided to break it, "I thought you wouldn't say it back to me." She looked at me and asked, "Why?" I breathed in and said, "Don't get me wrong, but I still think about whether or not you compare our relationship to what you and Namjoon had." I was mad at myself for ruining this moment, but I knew if I kept this pent up, I would definitely bring it up in the wrong moment. I was preparing for the worst fight when she said, "I understand."

I looked at her for a split second and turned my eyes back to the road, still shocked. "You do?" I asked. "Hmm... It's not your fault for thinking like this. I sort of knew we'd have this conversation. But I appreciate you bringing it up," she said, calmly. I couldn't tell where this was going. "So do you? Compare us, I mean?" I asked. She replied, "No. I don't. What Namjoon and I had certainly was great, but what we have is great too. And it's very different from what Namjoon and I had, which is what I love about us. We're our own brand. You've changed me for the better. You not just support me, you point things out. And you're very honest. You've helped me out in so many ways, Jimin. It's reassuring to know that you're right by my side. And most importantly, you've managed to become a person that makes me believe that I'm not the 'lost-my-boyfriend-in-a-tragic-accident' kinda person I treated myself as and pitied. You've made me have faith in myself. With you, I'm just a girl crazy about a guy."

I felt my heart swell at her words. I smiled wide. "I love it when you attempt to quote Notting Hill to me," I said. We both broke into a laugh.

When we reached home, before Jieun could change into my clothes as pajamas, I pulled her into my embrace and kissed her. She smiled into the kiss. I pulled away and reached out for my phone. I connected it to a speaker, Jieun patiently watching my every move. I played 'The way you look tonight'. She broke into the prettiest smile. "Do you remember? This is the song I sang when we first met," I said. "I do... You sang it so well. It's one of my favourites," she said. I smiled and asked for her hand. "We didn't get to dance, remember?" I said. She took my hand and we both slow danced in my living room. It felt like a snow globe moment. As the song ended, we both kissed.

"I love you," she said. "More than peach iced tea?" I asked. "You're crossing a line there," she said. I laughed but she only kissed me. I pulled away to tell her I loved her too. And love wasn't even close to what I felt. She was every good thing poured into one person. I knew I could never get enough of her. Love felt like such a basic word all of a sudden.

We spent a very passionate night together. As we lay under the sheets, her head lying on my bare chest, she suddenly asked, "What does love mean to you?" I chuckled. "Philosophy after sex? Okay then." She laughed lightly. "No... really..." she said. I took a deep breath before saying, "Uhm... I guess... Love is a passionate and unconditional commitment... to someone that makes you happiest." She took a small pause and said, "I like that..." I asked, "For you? What is love to you?" She replied, "It's a choice." "Well that was anti-climactic," I said, gaining a small laugh from her. "Heyy, c'mon," she said, lightly hitting my chest with the back of her hand. "Okay, okay, sorry. Explain it to me," I said, taking her hand in mine and placing a kiss on it.

She took a small pause before saying, "When you treat love as a feeling, you take an incorrect approach, according to me. Feelings are not something you can depend on, they're the most unstable variables in the equation of our life. So love as a feeling... can fade. No, it will fade. But love is more than that. It's something we consciously choose to make work. Something we choose to keep close to us, in turn making us happy. But it's also something we choose to work through when things get difficult. That doesn't mean being in love isn't a feeling. It definitely is. But to make love a part of your life, it needs to be a choice. Choosing your partner and making them feel important. I don't mean keeping them above all else. But correctly prioritising where exactly they stand in your life. When things get bad, love is choosing your partner over the problem and choosing to open communication. Choosing to recreate something worth falling in love with again. So when the feeling inevitably fades, the choice remains."

I grew silent at her words. "Don't agree?" she asked. "You gave me a lot to think about right now," I admitted. She giggled. But then I suddenly knew what to say. "Hey Jieun?" I said. She hummed. I carressed her hand and said, "I choose you." She turned to press a firm kiss on my lips.

After pulling away, she looked into my eyes and said, "Park Jimin... I choose you, too."