Love After Love...

Chapter 36: "Can we talk?"

~2 weeks later~

Jieun's POV:
Jimin had blocked me everywhere. But I can't blame him. If I were in his place, I would've done the same. I actually would've handled the situation very differently. There would have been a lot more yelling and cursing. But I thought about what he said. And I was going to make my life better. I was going to mend broken things. And it had to start from myself. My dad.

As I was packing up at the clinic, Beomgyu was still arranging some files. "Aren't you going back home?" I asked him. "Oh, Dr. Jeon. Oh yes, just in a few. I need to arrange these files for your appointments tomorrow," he replied. "How's everything at the University?" I asked. "Uh... same old, same old. I heard about Professor Park. Must've been hard for you, I know he was like a mentor to you," he said. It reminded me of Jimin. It hurt. I only nodded. "Dr. Jeon?" he said. I hummed. "I know we don't talk about a lot of stuff apart from work, but would you be willing to read my thesis when I choose to do it? It's going to take a lot of time, as you know I'm just in the start of my second year, but I would really appreciate it if-" he said but I interrupted, "Sure, Beomgyu. I'll take a look. Whenever you're ready." He smiled a very wide smile. "Thank you so much!" he said. I smiled. "I really look up to you, Ma'am," he said. "That's the first time anyone's said that to me. Thank you, Beomgyu. You're a lovely assistant," I replied. He gave me a smile and we both left the office.

I drove to my parents' house and my heart was beating too fast. The last time I was here was with Namjoon. And that was not pleasant. But I was going to do this. For myself.

I rang the doorbell and waited. My mom opened. She was shocked to see me. Well, can't blame her. "Is dad home?" I asked. She nodded.

I came in, and walked towards his study. As I predicted, he was in there. I knocked. He turned around, a shocked expression on his face. "What's this I see? Have you gone bankrupt?" he asked. And this time, Jimin's words kept repeating in my head. And I wasn't angry in the slightest. "Hey, Dad," I said. He looked even more perplexed. I chuckled at his demeanor. "Can we talk?" I asked. He nodded and told me to sit.

We both took a seat. "Anything to drink?" he offered. "A peach iced tea, if that's not too much trouble," I replied. Jimin's funny memory with the iced tea floating in my head making me suppress a smile. "Of course," he replied and ordered someone to bring it, while pouring himself a drink of his own. We sat in silence till my drink was served. "Why are you here?" he asked. "Like I said, I wanted to talk to you. And no, I have not gone bankrupt. I opened my own clinic a while ago and it's going pretty okay," I said. "So that's what this is? You're here to gloat?" he said, scoffing and sipping his bourbon. "No, dad. I wanted to fix things between us. That's why I'm here. I don't want us to be fighting anymore. I want us to have a good, healthy relationship," I said.

"What the fuck?" he said. "Dad. Please. At least don't swear. I understand how out-of-the-blue this is, but believe me, I'm done feeling miserable and helpless over this. I want to do something about it," I said.

He didn't say anything, so I continued, "Dad... I'm sorry I don't fit in your idealistic mould of who your daughter should be. If that disappointed you, I'm sorry. But I'm not sorry for choosing what I did and if I went with what you had laid out for me, I would be miserable, and honestly, so would you. Let's not talk about what a complete mess the company would've been. Don't you agree that Jungkook did a fabulous job with everything? He actually has an interest in this. I don't. And for that, I'm sorry, but I'm not sorry. I just wanted you to be proud of me. Speak of me like you speak of Jungkook. I wanted to see pride in your eyes. I wanted to see you extensively brag about me to your friends and business partners."

A tear fell from my eye as I gave him a sad smile. I looked into his eyes. His eyes were sad. "But I'm done seeking validation. I don't want it anymore. Because all of this refelcts on my relationships with others, my job, my approach towards my accomplishments. Because if I continue seeking your validation and don't get any, I'm gonna keep torturing myself emotionally and never ever consider any achievement worth it. So this is my first and final attempt at making things okay with you. I implore you, to accept that this is who I am and I freaking love it. I love my job and I love that I help people. And you bringing me down over it will not bother me anymore," I said.

There was a long pause.

He set his drink aside, and walked over to me. Then, he hugged me. I hugged back instantly, crying on his shoulder. "I'm sorry I didn't do this myself. I was a jerk and a joke of a father. I'm so sorry, Jieun. You didn't deserve this. I just wanted you to be like me. I wanted you to reach the corporate dreams I couldn't. I wanted to see you fulfilling my dreams. And I was so obsessed with that idea that it offended me that you wouldn't have the same dreams I did. I just thought you'd want the same. I never tried asking. I'm sorry, sweetheart," he wept.

We spoke for a very very long time after that. It was even more fulfilling than I thought. I felt... free. Mom joined us soon, too. It was like a dream.

"What prompted this, Jieun?" Mom asked. "Just... someone really put things into perspective for me..." I replied. "Who is he?" dad asked. "I never said anything about a 'he'," I said, smiling like a fool. "Don't take me for an idiot, Jieun. I'm still your father. Who is he?" Dad said. "A friend," I said.

But was he, really? Was he just a friend?

"Namjoon was not the end of your story, honey," said Mom. She continued, "It was terrible. But you can't keep shutting yourself off. You're not wrong to want to start a new story. Namjoon wanted you to be the happiest version of yourself. I bet, he still does. And this 'friend' of yours... He's clearly not just a friend. You've got that smile after we mentioned him." She exchanged a smile with Dad at that last sentence.

I spent the night at my parents' house. And at night, even though I didn't have Namjoon's photo frame, I was fine... Did I not need it anymore? Could I really let him go now?

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A/N : Go, Jieun!
I wanted this chapter to be good. Was it? This is a huge step for Jieun. And it's important her personal issues don't interfere with her relationships again. She's not doing this for Jimin. She's doing this for herself. She doesn't depend on Jimin to like her back. She's just doing this so she gets her peace of mind.
Working on yourself is absolutely essential before committing yourself to a sexual/romantic partner.
This chapter was somewhat personal :)